I'm up at 1am avoiding going to bed because my husband is in there. He's in there and I know when I lay next to him absolutly nothing will happen. It's been weeks going on a month since we had sex last which isn't that long considering the last span was months. I spend my nights, every night, crying until I can't cry anymore. I've read lots of post and stories on here all giving different advice. Things like "maybe you should try to initiate sex". I can't do that anymore, because I think it will kill me to go through it again. Three nights ago it was me laying in my black nighty with nothing on underneath practically begging him to be with me, and him not even giving me a second look and pulling his hand away from me. All I get for an explanation is "I'm not in the mood." So here comes advice point two, telling him exactly how I feel. I did that. I explained that it hurts to know that I'm not sexually attractive to him. It hurts that he doesn't give me a second look. And that it's killing me that I haven't been able to seduce my own husband to have sex with me in way over a year. Yes we have sex, but I find myself crying when he falls asleep after, because it feels more like an obligation than a fantasy. Its something he does just to get it over with. He insists that there is NO problem. He's just tired and not in the mood. Today I cried in front of him (something i try not to do, but sometimes it hurts soo much I just can't help it). I told him to tell me what I could do, and that I would do anything, loose weight, dress differently whatever so he would think I was sexy. He just said it's not me that he still finds me very attractive. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't cry anymore, I can't hurt anymore. I can't spend anymore nights up until 3am because it hurts too much to lay next to him. What do I do? How do I cope with this?