He Does Not Believe In Sex... Continues...

I know many of you wondering what happen to me this weekend and here it goes:

I don't consider myself a victim but do know that the guilty conscious is a major role played here... maybe because I know that if I loved someone and I was sick I would hate for them to leave me alone to survive... and many of us forget how it would be for us if we had a major sickness and the person we count on left us.

However, I am not stupid to think that I will ever become asexual again or that I am being used in this process.. I had major discussions this weekend and told him that there is not need for him to come home... and he needed just to figure out where he wanted his stuff it did not work. Apparently with me doing all the major calling NOBODY wanted him...

So I did let him come back but he is staying on the coach alone... I told him that it is not right what I am going through maybe if I was in my sixties and had nothing better to do... I basically stayed away all weekend without blinking an eye but I also know this does not bother him.... but I did unplug the cable down stairs.  Since he does not know much about electronics or fix things it probably stay this way for awhile which means now he must listen to his sports on a radio... maybe it's mean but i  figure this will push him to move out sooner... I told him that his stuff is in boxes and would stay there... because he no longer is welcomed and its not fair that I can not go on with my life... and hate that he uses the guilt trip on me... and I rather enjoy my life... I went as far to tell him I will have lovers come to my home when I feel like it so he better move out before it starts... I also told him that I do not appreciate all his friends not being able to help him out... Since we already live separate lives and I do what I want,  I will continue but if he thinks he is going to kill himself do it outside... where I don't have to clean up the mess... I hate being a ***** but what choice do I have... and I would feel guilt if he died but I can no longer be a nurse... He,  now has to fend for his own food for there will be no more cooking or me cleaning after him... and no friends are allowed in my home.... so if he wants to live a miserable life there is the couch enjoy but I will continue a single life and he is no longer officially going to know anything I am doing.. it's out of his hands.... I hate that I been put into a situation where I must be a ***** for that is not my nature..so I figure if I treat him like dirt maybe he would realize that he is now living in boxes on a couch... I don't want to be considered a victim or self pitty on me... I just hate to know that I would be sending someone to live on the streets where they can die... I know that's the part of me that has the morals... though I do forget them when I am in my lovers arms or whom I choose to hold me for the night...  so I guess you can say I will  continue to live my secret life.... 
angelmorals angelmorals
41-45, F
11 Responses Aug 2, 2010

still counting the days.... and he says he has no place to go but i told him I gave him enough time to look.... so I am hoping by next weekend he is out....lucky for me he has nothing really to take but his clothes....everything in this house was brought by me so he has no claim on anything but his clothes and golf clubs...

Well now. Your deadline is approaching. Have things been resolved?

I hope it does not come to this (for your sake) but be prepared to follow through with your time fr<x>ame by literally throwing him out onto the street if necessary when the time comes. I suggest you consult your appropriate law enforcement agency now and explain the details. Tell them you have given him 3 months to make alternate arrangements because you are sympathetic to his illness issues, BUT that this MUST be the end this time. Tell them you have frequently tried to evict him previously but he always pulls the ICU card . . . . <br />
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I think you will find them sympathetic to the fact you may need to call on them to assist you to evict him when the time comes. . . . As for your idiot ex, remember that some people have to hit "rock bottom" before they realise they need to change. In his case "rock bottom" might mean being thrown out of your house and your life . . . .

There is nothing to forgive... expect that I must go on with my life... and like I said before who wants to live a life of just being there... I believe you only have one life and you must do what is best... I almost forgot my own saying and than it hit me... I enjoy life and love to discover new adventures... sexual or just mentally but its who I am... and I should not let him take away not that he really has but he is taking some of it... and as long as I can still go on,.. he can just stay on the coach till he finds his new place of living... and I made it very clear rules have changed and I am doing him the favor but do not think life will ever be the same with me... also told him he will end up hating me in the end...

Sorry for evrything but will u not forgive him if he improves

He is a mooch. 3 months is very generous,

Seems to me all you are doing is taking responsibility for yourself.<br />
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He is going to hang around hoping you will also take responsibility for him again (just like in the good old days !!)<br />
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I'll bet it dosen't feel like it to you - but you are doing him a huge favour by not enabling his behaviour anymore.<br />
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Given a bit of time, I reckon you will look back on this without too many regrets, bur while you are still in the middle of it it must be damn tough. Keep at it, you are going good !!

This forum really does not allow a good answer given the lack of pertinet details but it seems a clean break is in order. Does he have borderline dependent personality disorder? Did he put himself in this position because of poor life choices and is now looking for a free caregiver? Don't know, but the best thing now seems to be find the local indigent care facility and offer him a ride. Easier for me to say than for you to do, I know. :/

Nope, probably won't bother him being alone, knowing you will be back. Remember, his basic needs are meet. I suggest you send him off before leaving, and put it in writing so that when you do come back he has no excuse.<br />
God bless you in your effort to help, but as the bible say, if the tree does not bear fruit pull it out and throw it away.

Oh I did...Told him he needs to move out by November 1... figure gives him 3 months to save money... and He wont be having any company from me... and he does not know that food no longer is going to be accessible there since I will be visiting mom to eat.... and if you are sitting on a couch all alone its bond to bother after awhile... I know it will for me...

I suggest you put out the time limit for him to move out, like soon. He does not sound like he is concerned, so long as he has the basic needs met, like shelter, food and company. Does he work, or want to work. Does he present himself positve about the future, or just waiting to be served.