Does It Ever Help?

I guess it is the wrong place to ask because if the answer was yes you wouldn't still be here with me. Does therapy ever work? Even if the answer is yes it will not matter in my case as my wife will not talk about it with me and thinks there is no reason to talk about it with a therapist. She says she doesn't want to change as she is ok. Maybe she is but our relationship isn't. As with many others on the site it is not just lack of sex it is lack of any forms of intimacy.
Tee53 Tee53
56-60, M
7 Responses Aug 7, 2010

Therapy can work to bring you to a better place. It may not change your sexless marriage (it definitely won't if the other person isn't committed to the process and staying with it), but it will change how you look at and understand it, and ultimately, whether you can stay in it.<br />
<br />
Individual therapy is also crucial to figure out your own stuff, and help you identify with yourself outside of the relationship.<br />
<br />
I am in couple's therapy right now and at the very least, forces you to confront the issues.<br />
It is not a

I understand the pessimism. Hugs

Therapy works very well...for the therapist! <br />
They make a lot of money out of our sorry stories and just wait for the re-run.<br />
Sorry, just the pessimism talking!

Just go for massage therapy.

Thanks for all your comments. <br />

Personal opinion only.<br />
<br />
With a half decent counsellor and a willing attitude by you, you will get a result. But you might not get the result you originally wanted. That was my experience anyway.<br />
<br />
I ended up in a very different place than I had originally 'planned'. It was (looking thru the rear view mirror), a brilliant result. It was not the result I had originally wanted.<br />
<br />
The absolute worst result you will get (if you are open and honest with a half decent counsellor) is some personal growth. <br />
<br />
A rider. If you are talking about marriage counselling, and your spouse either won't go with you / is a recalcitrant participant - then save your money. That is a dead duck.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

While it may not be helpful in saving your marriage, you may well find that individual counselling for yourself is helpful. A good counsellor and a commitment on your part to take part fully in the therapy may result in you having a much better and clearer understanding of YOURSELF and your own needs, desires, wants and plans. Good luck!