Frustrated Still

Okay, so I posted on here a little while ago about my husband never wanting sex, or not sleeping in the same room and not watching tv together. I got some really good advice, so Thank you and here is what happened.

Well I finallly confronted him. It started when he told me he loved me and I just couldn't say it back. I ask him how a couple can be in love when there is no intamacy, no sex and no conversation. He doesn't get it and doesn't get why I am so upset and why I fell out of love with him. I said we live like room mates, so I might as well move out and have a room mate and start my life over. We have no kids so I have alot of time on my hands. My family and friends live 3 hrs away and told him I was ready to move home, because I am so very lonely!! At least moving back home I can be with friends and family, find a room mate and start my life over.
I just wanted to leave but he begged me to give him another chance and started by coming up to bed. He does sometimes, all weekend he didn't and I watched movies by myself. I 'd could go into his man cave but how much can 1 watch the History channel!! I honestly don't see him changing!!

In the meantime, I am saving money so I can be on my own
and yes I am trying on my end, but I just don't love him in that way anymore. I love him like I love a friend and a room mate. This has been going on for over 2 yrs , so I have had 2 yrs to turn cold!

This just makes me feel so unattractive and worthless!!


desirestouch desirestouch
41-45, F
5 Responses Aug 8, 2010

I know how you feel.

Thak you everyone, for your very helpful comments. I really do know deap down that lack of intimacy and conversation has made me fall out of love for him. I also know that things won't change. My plan to move back home around friends and family will have to wait until I can save enough money to do so. I mean really, was the difference, we are only room mates. Stay here , save money, move home find another room mate, move on with my life.<br />
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Thanks EP friends!

A plan is already being formulated....i found that as soon as i even started TALKING about an exit strategy (without realising it) it was time to go....we didn't have kids either, and although I loved my husband as a friend, I was no longer in love with him like I should be a husband and we very much lived like 'room mates'. I left. I got my life back. Initially i just 'moved out'....but within less than a week, I knew it would be for good. Be strong, you deserve much much more....don't let him bully u into staying...sounds like you've made your decision.....so ACT and start living. You won't regret it, and you'll find a man who wants to be with you, in every way a partner should!

You have started your plan (it seems to me) by starting to put some money into an escape fund.<br />
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Unless there is some compelling reason not stated in your story it would seem prudent to expand on the escape plan - and carry it out.<br />
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Just a hint, don't play 'brinksmanship' (ie threatening a consequence then not delivering that consequence) It destroys your cred and sends a message to the other person that you're full of it.<br />
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Tread your own path.

What's the point in "trying"? You no longer love him. Do both of you a favor and go home. <br />
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Best of luck to you. I hope you both find happiness in different lives <br />
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Princess Believesinstartingover