Time To Share My Story

I have been with my husband for 10 years. He is considerably older than me. Our relationship started out as sexual. 3 days after I knew him we spent every night at his house in bed together and sometimes entire days. When we would come up for air we learned more about each other and spent real quality time together too. He confessed to me one day that he was married, but had been separated for a long time and the divorce was underway... I felt a little odd about that situation but I was in too deep with him and couldn't give him up. So we continued.

We fell in love outside of the bedroom and finally got married about 2 years after we met. We had a more normal life now, but thngs were still hot in the bedroom. I'm not really sure when that fell apart. It has been a long time. He just started pushing me away for no reason. He says it isn't me, he does not feel as though he wants anyone sexually. He says he doesn't even ********** anymore. I don't know. I am pretty certain he is not having an affair. If he was I would be in shock and I would be amazed to see how he was ab;e to hide it. I just don't think that is the case. We are still active in the bedroom... maybe once a month, sometimes less sometimes more. But for the most part it is nothing. I have to beg and plead and I get nothing.

He says I have an obsession with sex. I just don't think that is true. I think I am a wife who wants to be with her husband. Isn't that normal? I mean how much is too much? I try everyday, but only because I get nothing. I told him if he gave in once in a while I wouldn't be begging everyday. I don't want to beg... begging was fun years ago when I knew he would give it to me and he was just playing around making me beg for it. It sn't quite the same now.

I don't want to leave him, outside of this we have a great relationship. All that is missing is sex and affection. He does everything I ask of him and does it with a smile. He does nice things for me and lavishes me with gifts. The problem is, I don't want gifts. They are nice, but I want him. Plain and simple, I want him. I want his kisses, I want his arms around me,  I want to feel hs breath on my body, I want his hands on me..  want HIM. all of him.

I just don't know how to get him back. I don't think it is a lost cause. While he is a lot older than me, he isn't ancient. He is only 45. Don't 45 year old men still like to have sex????
LoverAbove LoverAbove
26-30, F
10 Responses Aug 9, 2010

just cuckold him..with a guy who can actualy cuckold him..mentaly and physicaly..sure then he will fight for u..

hello ... from where i sit .. ur husband is bored ..and maybe he cant get it up anymore ..so he is sort of afraid that if he comes near he wouldn't satisfy u .. i suggest you make a new look, dress up sexy and START SOMETHING NEW..doesnt have to be kinky but new..and i suggest also using cialis or viagra ..put it in his food or drink without him knowing ( trust me on this ) ..and if you ask and get rejected dont make a big deal out of it .. and dont feel hurt ..just try again .. YOU ARE A WOMAN .. be seductive ... if u dont know how... watch metacafe.com art of seduction or anything to know how to turn him on .. give him a blow job...tease him ....u can ..JUST BELEIVE THAT U CAN

Just pack your bags and get ready to leave. He does not love you and is just putting on an act. If he loved you, he would put his penis in your vagina once in a while. It really is not that difficult to do -- he just has to want to do it. <br />
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Dump the dead wood as soon as you can afford to go. However, keep asking him for sex during that time. Maintain the status quo and surprise him with your departure. I mean, at least try to get a laugh out of this nonsense. <br />
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Can you afford to live on your own?? <br />
Can your husband afford to pay you alimony?? <br />
Can you afford a divorce lawyer??

maybe i will try to get the testosterone test. he goes for regular visits sinceh e has high bloodpressure but i don't think his sex life has ever come up and i don't think they have checked his t levels with his routine bloodwork. something to look into, we'll see.

I'm not an MD - but I play one on EP :) - but what you describe reads like low testosterone. A simple blood test would tell the tale. At his age he should be getting annual checkups. Maybe a bit more forceful prodding on your part would be in order. Like others have said, you deserve the truth and he needs to realize that a marriage is 2 people not 1.

I do not think telling him you will go somewhere else for sex will not help your cause. At his age, which is young there may be medical malfunction or boredom with the existing situation. time for marriage counseling, or separation for a few days or weeks. Make sure you have maximum amount of money accessible, and your name is on credit cards, just in case things get nasty. In marriage, everyday is an effort, and patterns show direction.

You'd think a blow job would cheer him up, wouldn't you?? No, he just doesn't care - see Iselflove's story for where you'll be in a couple of years xx

He just has no interest. I know I am not horrible in bed, but this man can fall asleep during a blow job, he can fall asleep while pleasuring me. I swear it is like he is just bored, so bored he just goes to sleep. It has seriously hurt my confidence. His excuse is always that he is tired and just doesn't feel like it. or his head just isn't in it. & he doesn't seem to understand why I am upset.hurt when he falls alseep on me.

Let your husband know that you want to stay married to him but that you will be finding the sexual outlet elsewhere! Who knows, he might enjoy the cuckold aspect, he might want to experiment with a MFM or maybe just maybe, he'll feel threatend and revert back to the playful man he once was! Bill in Va.

I haven't ever "really" confronted him about this. I mean I've brought it up, but never in depth, I never pushed the issue. I think since I resorted to googling "sexless marriage" (which is how i found this site) I figure it must be time to seriously discuss and try to fix this. I've read several stories and I can relate, but I haven't found anyone else my age with an older man.