Moving On and Meeting Up

Having decided I was leaving, I had my mind set on staying single for a while, moving into a small apartment, meeting a few women, having sex and seeing what I missed by marrying so young. I had a plan.

John Lennon wrote: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans", and this was proven to me (again) when I got chatting to an EP member on meebo. I had read and commented on some of her stories, and I thought she was an amazing, strong woman. We started chatting about our sexless marriages and quickly found that we had quite a strong connection. That chat got quite heated in a VERY nice way.

Over the next few weeks we started chatting more and more and then moved over to Skype so we could talk. We very quickly started finding that we are very compatible, from the smallest things like our taste in food, to the important things like our sexual preferences, spiritual beliefs and money/spending habits. We fell in love, but more importantly we decided that we want to be together because of all the common ground we share.

We have been spending about 2-1/2 hours on the phone every weekday, and 5-6 hours a day on weekends for the last 2 months! We are on opposite sides of the world from one another, and with our divorces out of the way, are finally making plans to meet for a week. If we decide to take things further after we meet (which is almost a given at this stage), I will be moving to be with her because I don't have any close family here, and her parents, kids and other close family are all near her. Based on this we've decided that we'll meet over there to see if we can live with each other and so that I can see the place I'll be moving to. There'll be no backing out of this one - I'll be staying with her and I'm getting really excited now! 

I'll let you all know when my flights are booked. I can't wait!!! 
Iamhere4me Iamhere4me
36-40, M
25 Responses Aug 13, 2010

@GEK, Thank you for your comment and I wish you the best of luck with your future!<br />
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@bambootree, I can't speak for your situation, but I can tell you that in my situation leaving was hard. It still is to this day and will be for the foreseeable future, but it is A LOT less painful than living in my sexless marriage was. The insecurity, hurt and resentment that I lived with DAILY in my marriage is GONE and I have gained a new level of self-respect for the hard decisions I made, and simply for being able to stand on my own two feet. I wish you all the best for your future, and strength to make hard decisions and stick to them.

4PM60,<br />
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Good luck to you and your pm4pi! <br />
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I wish I could did like you did. I am scared of leaving my marriage even though I am also so scared whenever I think about my future being in this sexless relationship for the rest of my life. <br />
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All the best,

Hi greeneyedkitten...I sympathise with you..hope all goes well, but tread carefully.. Love M xoxox

Thanks ISL. I know, it's going to be A-MAY-ZING! I can't wait (I've been like the Energizer bunny bouncing off the walls for the last 3 days :-D )

Best wishes to you and your new love! 50 hours in transit is a heck of a long journey, but at the first moment when you are finally together time will stand still. Trust me, I've been there and our time together was, and forever will be, timeless. Good luck and safe travels!

Thanks mate, I Certainly will treasure it and I certainly won't forget it, this I know for sure! There are exciting times ahead. I'm SO looking forward to it. <br />
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What are your plans moving forward?

Indeed a very similar situation...the minute we spoke on the phone was the minute which changed our lives forever. I knew in the first long call we had that here was someone who listened, understood me,let me finish sentences, made me laugh, showed me how much we had in common, told me of her interesting life experiences and listened to mine, told me with herheart on her sleeve what she felt for me ......it got to the point where wild horses couldn't keep us apart, and certainly not the Atlantic Ocean ! <br />
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I hope you treasure every minute of the week with your love, I can guarantee you will never forget it.

Hey Hey Skippyboy, thanks for your well-wishes! It sounds like you were in a very similar situation to us - we've been speaking for 2 months and I'm going to be flying to another continent to be with her. I'm actually flying halfway around the world - 28 time zones!<br />
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Spending 50 hours in transit for a week with my love sounds like a good deal to me, no?<br />
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Yeah, I'll be pretty tired but I'll also know whether to sell everything and prepare for a move, or whether to stay put and look locally. I personally think the former is much more likely to happen!

I just wanted to join the chorus of well wishers ! You are taking a huge step, and yet you feel as sure about anything as you've ever felt. I KNOW the feeling, it is wonderful. After our online friendship started to become something more, I spent 2 months talking every day on the phone to my new love before we finally HAD to be together .... she flew from another continent to be with me. We spent two nights together in a wonderful hotel and from the minute we set eyes on each other it was magical. We felt like we'd just hooked into a paralell life which was just waiting to happen. Our smiles at breakfast the next day illuminated the entire room.<br />
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Like many of you have said to the religious/moral high ground/candles and flowers/`Have you tried talking to your partner'? retards who pop by here with all the answers.....YOU try living a sexless marriage for ten years and then come back and see how far your precious morals get you. <br />
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People deserve happiness and when they have tried like me, my new love and hundreds on here for years and years to get their spouses to behave as the other half of a married couple, and had it thrown back in their faces or swept under the carpet.......then for us the liberation of rejoining the human race again with a new lover is FULLY justified. <br />
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No-one who hasn't lived it can understand it fully.

Thanks wisiwig! I fully intend to enjoy it :-)

Enjoy - forget the nay sayers.

My PM, it is indeed ironic that these boneheads can't see past there idealistic morals when they haven't been through the experiences we have and are therefore completely unqualified to even have an opinion, let alone voice it.<br />
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Thanks LLL, it is indeed VERY exciting to be planning to meet, and now to be actually meeting! Flight's booked, leave is approved, it's all GO. WOOHOO!<br />
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ManinFull, Google is great, and thanks for the wisdom from Dr. Seuss. Really good!<br />
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Thanks for your wishes Dartist. I'm excited to meet my love, but I'm also really excited for you and Morph!!! It's been a long time coming.<br />
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TBaby, you're right about the "passing by retards". Maybe next time I should just delete the comment instead, but I did enjoy telling her to f-off in my own subtle way!

So happy for you both! Never allow the naysayers to dampen your joy so continue to embrace life and this wonderful opportunity. I too found the most wonderful man here and we have met and spent glorious times together. We both got to know one another very well first with messages and phone calls and, when we finally met, it was like coming home to a place that I had been looking for all of my life. <br />
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In a few months, we will be together permanently and knowing this makes our separation easier. Miles may be between us now but we have weathered many storms together and know that it is all worth it in the end. <br />
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Have a great time and I know exactly how you are feeling. The world is new again and full of possibilities. Just when one least expects it, the most wonderful person can appear and life is forever changed.

So good to hear of your happiness... so exciting to be planning to actually meet, wow... I am so happy for you both!

Anaspiringwriter, read my other stories if you want to know more, go and live in a sexless marriage for ten years, and leave your Christian idealism at the door, then you're welcome to comment.

I hope you didnt divorce your wife cuz you weren't getting sex.. I hope their was more of an excuse than just that.. cuz then what's to say you won't leave this one too? I don't know the specifics, but if you're in such a hurry to get this woman, than when you get bored with her where will you go?

Thanks meerin. I'll be keeping you all posted.

I wish you both the best.

ROFL!!

I hope for you both only the best!<br />
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Princess Believes

Thank you SO much for your comments. My flight is booked - on 9/10 I'll be meeting my wonderful PM for the first time in RL! Too bad it'll be in a public place :-P<br />
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@TB & Maninfull, thanks for your kind words. You literally brought tears to my eyes. <br />
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@All of you, you guys (and that means ladyguys too :-) are what make this place so special. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.<br />
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@mango. We are both mature, experienced adults. We both understand "the glow". We have discussed this and other things at length and have been totally, sometimes brutally honest with each other and will continue to do so. As I explained in my story, we have a pretty good base of "common ground" to start with, and we have the willingness to work at things together. Sure, it may last 3 hours or 3 days. Even if it does only last that long, we'll still have the experience to remember, whether it's positive or negative it'll still be experience. I do happen to believe this relationship will last a lot longer than that because we are both adults and it started in a place where we are completely honest about ourselves. This is why I believe that relationships started in ILIASM have a better chance of survival - We're not putting the "best" side of ourselves forward to attract a partner. We are, by and large, here for the support of others and sometimes things take unexpected turns. We also share a common pain that none of us wants to inflict upon another person.

Maninfull: honestly, that was beautifully said and I couldn't agree with you more.<br />
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I am wishing you both luck and happiness.

@mango60 - I reckon many people in this forum know quite a lot about the glow and and willing partners can keep it alive and thriving. I would also wager that all of us here would know a great deal about the value of truth and openness in a relationship. In the three years I have been in this group, I have known members who have been blessed to get together and experience again the fire and passion - a very significant happening, given the years of pain and emotional malnurishment they have endured. So, whether its for always or for now, they are still in a far better space.<br />
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Blessings 4PM60 and pm4pi.

smiling from ear to ear for you both!

I'm always so happy to hear of couples meeting from this site. After all that we from this group have been through, it's encouraging to know that it can happen.