Woe Is Me....

I am in the process of accepting that my marriage is basically over. My husband says he "cares" about me and always will but that's it. He doesn't really care about the pain I feel all the time, living in this loveless, sexless marriage. We are stuck financially...I know others will say that there is always a way to manage, but I'm not so sure how.

There are days when I am okay just living as "friends", co-parents, whatever...and on those days I vow to make the best of it. Then there are days like today, when I am so overwhelmingly sad and anything can make me cry. On a day like today, I just want to be held by someone who loves me...but there is no such person.

I have been trying the affair route, but frankly, it's not enough. It just whets the appetite...I yearn for the day when I will be able to go to sleep next to a man who loves me and wants me. But, I wonder if that day will ever come. It's quite possible that it won't.

My husband is just living his life. None of this seems to bother him. I have let it squeeze the life out of me. I have trouble motivating myself to do much. Sometimes, I don't think I have the strength for this. But then I berate myself...my life is really not so bad. There are people in abusive situations, I'm not in one of those. There are people with terminal illnesses, that's not my problem. I think the difference here is that it's a secret, I don't have a shoulder to lean on with this. If I was ill, friends would rally around me...but with this, I'm alone.

I'm rambling...it's one of those feeling sorry for myself days. Maybe tomorrow will be easier.
Snowwhite36 Snowwhite36
46-50, F
8 Responses Aug 13, 2010

And in fact you ARE in an abusive situation, sadly. It is Emotional Abuse. If you type those two words into the Search facility at the top of the page, you will see that there are a number of references to this on ILIASM. I suggest you read these - it will help you understand the true nature of your husband's actions towards you.

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I hate wallowing in self pity....but sometimes I just can't help it.

Friends ARE rallying around you Snowy. Right here, right now. <br />
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The process you are going thru is painful. But necessary. And there might be a result at the other end of it.<br />
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Something to think about (probably not today, but when you feel like it) is that "measuring" your happiness against others - 'abused' people, terminally ill people etc, is not really all that productive. YOUR feelings are just as important as anyone elses. The fact that people in the world are worse off than you (or better off than you for that matter) is not really relevant. You are entitled to have the opportunity to persue happiness.<br />
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Tread your own path.

My heart goes out to you.You need to do what is best for you and whats going to make you happy..Life is so short.

I'm a guy, but I can relate having a somewhat similar situation. I'm not sure what the answer is or if there is an answer at all. It has always seemed strange to me that a person can be married and still be lonely.

those othas aint payin your bills, so screw what they think if you stayin for financil reasons............it be easy fer someone to tell u how to live when they aint got your situation.

The silence is definitely a killer. It's the eight thousand pound elephant in the room that everyone tries to politely ignore while it stomps on your feet. That is energy draining.

Maybe tomorrow will be easier for us both.