True Love

DarthDude or BundyAl as some of you might know him wrote this poem to his wife a few days before he passed away in a tragic traffic accident. I know he had some bitterness about his wife. I was one of his graduate students and sometimes i could see how much he was worried about his family and spouse and their future. I discovered this on his desk. He wrote it to his wife for their anniversary which is in 2 days from now. It goes to show you the commitment of this person to his partner regardless of their difficult relationship. I gave it to his wife who broke down in the tears when she read it. This guy had had a an unparalleled devotion to his family and even his wife. Despite his resentment he was truly in love with her. But she was suffering from bipolar or borderline disorder ... I am not sure about it. I am maintaining this account on his behalf so his contributions are not lost. With all due respect to the members of this experience group I am sharing this poem with you to really know how this person felt about his wife even if he lived in a sexless marriage.

DT (member name DarthTyrannus)


"To my dear wife for our anniversary"

The mornings used to bring resentment
for the day had no purpose, no essence, no motive,
to 'carpe diem", to 'carpe noctis"
Mornings were the worst of times
the darkest of moments,
the bitter taste of the awakening into a futile,
futureless life

A head hampered by nightmares,
and conflicted egos, the day was the onset
of a lethargic reverie, a shadow spawning
speckles of madness and shabby ripples
of a convoluted existence that kept strolling through that day
until the night was merely a deliverance to a gray world
of empty minds, saturated with alcohol, nicotine and self-torture

The night would pass and meet the morning
and nothing would change, nothing would ever change
until the moment you crossed by beleaguered path
and exonerated me like moisture in the desert I called living

You came into my world like a ray of sunshine
streaking through the clouds, to offer hope
to offer peace, the chance to see and the chance to breathe again
And I fought to stay blind, to stay clear of the swath of light
on the desert floor, afraid to be lulled out of my thirst,
cause thirst was all I knew and thirst was all that I ever wanted to have

Your light caught up and burned through
my heart's darkest corners,
my soul's deepest caverns,
my mind's narrow crevices
and time unfolded to once again flow forward
marking the promise of a new life
a new beginning towards a horizon
I could now touch and call it a friend

Now the mornings no longer bear down
on me like suffocating bad air
and senseless oblivious surrender
Now the morning bring me your face next to mine
and your love through my world that used to be a wasteland
and now it's an earthly paradise to live and prosper

And you know that I love you with all my heart
regardless of problems,
despite of apparent rejections
and unmaterialized promises.
Because you are my mate, forever to stand behind you
forever to lend you a hand when you fall down
forever to hold you when you feel sad
forever to stroke your hair when you feel desperate
afraid of whom you've become or afraid to be

Despite all, you came one day into my world
like a ray of light and you brought me the sun I had forsaken
You poured down on me like a gentle rain droplet
a river of life rushing down with cleansing fury
You came into my world like a seed of love
and i will nurture that seed with my life
for you and our children

Because, you are my mate,
you are my sun even through the clouds
you are my soul even through the tears
you are my love even through the doubt
Nothing will ever take that away from me....
ever

MasterKosh MasterKosh
36-40, M
6 Responses Aug 13, 2010

Blue. ????????????<br />
<br />
RIP Bundy Al

BundyAl passed away on Aug 7th. i returned back to the US from abroad on Aug 8th. On that day I informed some of his friends in his circle as soon as i got to the office. We used to communicate through EP because it was fun compared to gmail. Every update you see from DarthDude or BundyAl since Aug. 8th is mine and i make it clear. i did not use his account to post any answers to any questions and only did some main page updates. As to how I know his password and have access to his machine suffice to say that I am the designated admin to our group's computers. So BlueSpruce, I do not know the reason for your doubt and to tell you the truth I don't particularly care because what i am doing is that at the request of his friends posting stuff that pertain to his experiences and soon enough I won't have time to do any of this since life goes on. I was prepared to delete his account until 2 of his friends specifically asked not to do this. So BlueSpruce enjoy your detective work and your life and let me do what i consider my small contribution amidst difficult personal circumstances.<br />
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ps: And BlueSpruce if you did your 'research' right you would have noticed that on Aug 7th i scribbled that event on his whiteboard profile.

thats the problem with the internet. Hard to determine whats real and whats not real. It was a beautiful poem though...so whoever wrote it. thank you.

Thanks, BlueS. That helped me too. Although, my wife and I have already decided to split, it is helping me accept our breakup a lot better.

Very beautiful and filled with emotion.<br />
<br />
It was very kind and thougtful of you to post this and to preserve BundyAl's legacy. At times, people disappear from ILIASM and we donalt know why; it's shocking to hear he has died.<br />
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Condolences to you, as I know how difficult it is to lose a dear teacher and mentor.

So beautifully written. Such a loss.