I Don't Love My Husband Anymore
I don't even remember the last time we had sex. Years ago, I think. There is no emotion from him at all. He doesn't even seem to miss me. He sits in front of the tv night after night. Or he buries his head in a book. Or he comes home late from work. Or its his night for 'me' time. Whatever that is. I gave up caring years ago. He just disappears and comes home hours later. The crying from me is over. I'm just a hollow shell where a whole person used to be.
He doesn't like to talk because it makes him uncomfortable. Have no clue what that means because he doesn't want to talk about it. Every night he sleeps on the couch. If this was all recent, it would scream affair, but it has been going on for years. It may be an affair, because he accuses me of cheating every time I go out of the house. Even when the kids are with me!
The saddest part is, I don't even care what happens to him anymore. He could drive off a bridge tomorrow and I wouldn't even notice. I would be annoyed that I would have to make funeral arrangements. When I read that I think, how cold can I be!
Then I think of the many times over the years, pleading with him just to talk to me, give me a hug, or maybe a kiss! And how cold that stare has been. How I have been brushed off like a pesky mosquito. Told he has important things to do, he's too busy to talk, too busy to spend any time with an insignificant wife.
If I had known this, I never would have married him. I feel like an idiot.