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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Stay Gone Or Go Back?

By: ThePrime28
Written on August 18th, 2010
Age: 26-30
1,457 people have read this story

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7 responses
  • ThePrime28

    Thank you everyone for all of your replies. I did read them all and it did truly help. I do think I am just missing the norm instead of truly needing that relationship. The past several years of me crying and him ignoring shows me that it will eventually go back to the way it has been and I can't take that risk. I will always love him and I know he will love me as well but its just not a husband spouse love anymore. Thank you all again I really appreciate all of your responses.

    Aug 21, 2010
    1 like
  • virtualnun

    DO NOT GO BACK!



    And, like others have said - give your sister a good talking to!

    Aug 21, 2010
    1 like
  • bazzar

    If you go back, it will get worse.

    You would be going back on HIS terms, not yours, and his position would have been vindicated.

    So you would be in a subservient position on the resumption of this circus.

    Relationships are not about one person being subservient and another dominant. They are about 2 individuals both willingly bringing their attributes to the table and creating something bigger than the sum of their individual parts.

    You obviously bring a lot to the table, he brings very little.

    Using (yes USING) your sister as a go between says a lot to me.

    Tread your own path.

    Aug 18, 2010
    1 like
  • PrincessMore

    DO NOT GO BACK!!!! Even if he changes for the short term, given your age difference, it is highly likely that you will have other issues as you move forward. Trust me on this. I left one 20 years older after 18 years of marriage. I was 24 when he snagged me. If only I had left when I was 29 instead of 42.



    Princess Notsoyounganymore

    Aug 18, 2010
    1 like
  • Snowwhite36

    I think you answered your own question..."deep down I don't see him changing" ...you know the truth, don't let guilt and fear sway you. Live your life!

    Aug 18, 2010
    1 like
  • AnarChristian

    Honey,

    Your husband does not love you.



    It really is not difficult for a married man to get a hard-on and put it where it belongs provided he loves his wife.





    enna is right. Do not take the liar back. You are not a psychiatrist nor are you a nurse. Let him sort out his mental problems on his own. Actually, even if you were, you do not deserve his crap.

    Aug 18, 2010
    2 likes
  • enna30

    Under NO circumstances go back! You have done exactly the right thing in leaving - and have probably saved your life in the sense that you can now find a person with whom to have a truly loving reciprocal relationship.



    Your husband misses you - but he will NOT change if you go back. He may say he will; he may even believe he will - but endless evidence on this forum will show you that it just does NOT happen. . . .



    I understand the missing - you still love him and at some level, you always will. But it is nostalgia and home sickness drawing you back - plus a sense of guilt which your sister is NOT helping!



    If I were you I'd tell your sister this:

    "You are MY sister and I need your support in this. Trying to get me to take him back is NOT helping me. I need to move on with my life."



    Believe me, there are many, many people here who WISH they had the strength to leave in the early stages, as you have so bravely done. Do you want to be 35, 45, 55 and raising children in a marriage where you have no sex, no intimacy and very little in the wayof shared interests?? Truly, you do NOT want that - at any cost.



    Better to be sad at present and stick to your decision. A better future is ahead for you - and you TRULY deserve it!

    Aug 18, 2010
    2 likes