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How To Decrease Your Libido

[EDIT - please note that, in the context of this group, this was posted this in jest]

One soution to living in a sexless marriage is to decrease the normal person's sex drive.

[I took some liberties with the original post] <-- this means I EDITED the original article

For individuals struggling with living in a sexless marriage, the libido can be both a temptress and a demon. In fact, living in a sexless marriage is considered one of the most difficult choices we can make because sex itself is not destructive and yet living in the relationship is. It can sometimes be a personal struggle that can strain and even ruin relationships. If you have a normal libido and you find that is creating problems personally or in your sexual relationships, you can do something about it.

Step 1
Limit your exposure to elements that arouse your sex drive. This includes *********** and even sexually suggestive materials, including magazines, pictures and movies. Avoid ***** clubs or venues featuring scantily-clad women or men.

Step 2 <-- I totally disagree with this
Exercise daily. This releases sex hormones through activity, rather than letting it build up and push your libido into overdrive. Channeling your sex drive into safe outlets, such as aerobic exercise and/or lifting weights, will make managing your libido easier.

Step 3
Undergo sex therapy or sex counseling. These services, while expensive, can help you get to the root of your sexual urges and teach you how to control your libido. Depending on your health insurance, you might also be able to get this paid for by your insurance provider.

Step 4
Take herbal supplements such as rehmannia or ligustrum. These are ancient Chinese remedies some believe suppress the libido. They can be found in most Chinese herb shops. Another supplement, named after its sex-drive-killing effects, is chaste tree berry.

Step 5
Ask your doctor if hormone treatments are an option for you. For individuals whose libido struggles are caused by excessive levels of sex hormones, certain therapies and treatments may be able to better regulate your hormones, thus allowing you to enjoy a manageable libido.

Foods to Decrease the Libido

Mismatched libidos are often a point of contention between partners in relationships. Many couples are reluctant to speak with doctors or therapists about differences in their sex drives, but there is a way to help the issue at home. There are certain foods that are known to decrease the libido, and are advised for those who feel that their drive is too high, and contraindicated for those who feel their drive is not high enough.

Carbohydrates and Fats
Carbohydrates and fats are heavy foods that have been proven to lead to arteriosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries. Hardening of the arteries is a condition in which plaque builds up along the walls of the arteries, which decreases their elasticity, increasing blood pressure as a result, and decreasing blood flow to parts of the body. Sufficient blood flow to the genitals is a very important component of sexual desire. An excess of blood is necessary to inflame the genitals for sexual excitement and activity, so a decrease in the flow of blood would prevent the desired stimulus, sensitivity and response.

Fried Foods
While discouraged in any healthy diet, fried foods are also known for decreasing the libido. Fried foods contain trans fats, also known as hydrogenated fats. Hydrogenated fats have been found to decrease testosterone, which is vital for normal libido and sexual function. Testosterone serves many purposes in the body, one of which is to prompt sexual desire and regulate sex cell production. Not only do hydrogenated fats reduce testosterone, but they have been proven to increase the number of abnormal ***** in animals.

While not necessarily a food, alcohol is still one of the primary substances known to decrease libido. It is also a surprising entry on the list for many people. Despite the number of people who engage in sexual activity as a result of alcohol, that activity is more due to decreased inhibitions than increased libido. Alcohol is known to decrease sensitivity and to lower sexual response, and so can be a useful tool in decreasing libido when desired, but should be avoided if desire levels are already low.

Also not a food, but part of a person's daily intake, certain medications are also known to decrease libido. Many common drugs have the unfortunate side effect of interfering with the normal levels of sexual desire in the patient in question, due to a variety of factors. The most common culprits for this are antidepressants, blood pressure medications, diuretics and some medications that treat ulcers. While these wouldn't be used to intentionally decrease a person's libido, it is important to be aware of the effect of medication for someone that is trying to avoid substances that lower their level of desire further.

Herbs to decrease libido

Herbal medicine has become very popular among those who are tired of constantly taking prescription medication made in a lab. The feeling that herbal supplements are safer and better for you may be the reasoning behind this increase in herbal popularity.

Simply put, our libido is our sex drive. There are supplements on the market today that claim to increase libido in both males and females, but there are also supplements that can decrease sex drive. According to Dr. Beatrix Roemheld-Hamm of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, chasteberry has been used for years for the treatment of certain gynecological conditions and breast health issues. However, in men, it is said to decrease libido by decreasing prolactin levels when administered in small doses. In the days of old, chasteberry was used by clergymen who had taken an oath of celibacy, to keep sexual urges to a minimum. Dr. Roemheld-Hamm states that not enough clinical evidence is available to prove that chasteberry does or does not decrease libido, despite reports by patients that it does.

Hops and Valerian
Hops is an additive to beer that gives it its bitter flavor but can aid in more than just intoxication. Hops can cause vaginal dryness in women. In men, hops makes it very difficult to maintain an erection. Valerian is used to calm the nervous system in the event of pain and aid in sleep. It also has been used to treat symptoms of premenstrual syndrome, but has been reported to lower libido in women. There is currently no scientific information to back this claim, but it has been reported by users of valerian that they have experienced decreased sex drive while using this herbal remedy.Rehmannia,

Ligistrum and Skullcap
Rehmannia is a Chinese herb that is used in people with extremely high libido. In the same family is ligistrum, which is also a libido suppresant. Both herbs work on the nervous system to make arousal more difficult for the patient. Skullcap also works on the nervous system, but it also lowers blood pressure, making erections difficult to obtain and maintain in men.

Oldandgone Oldandgone 41-45 12 Responses Aug 19, 2010

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So much trouble to bend and remold... The easier way to find normal partner with healthy sex drive instead of destroy your own health...

this is is HILARIOUS! i'm able to laugh now but about 3 yrs ago this idea hit me, in the context of your post. I thought, well, that's brilliant i'll just reduce MY drive! i am an extremely natural non-drug or antibiotic taking person. i don't eat gmo's, i go through the trouble of buying local honey, etc etc. You get the imagine me, miss organic, going to my family dr asking him for Paxil (i had done the research). i lied & said I'm depressed. i have never in my life taken anything like this. i WAS depressed but not that kind. i was completely gutted that i was not wanted or desired by my husband i decided to take anti-depressants to combat my drive. i actually even threw it in his face, he never stopped me from taking them. after a few months i stopped taking them (although it DID work). that was a waterloo moment in the relationship, like wow, you care that little for me, you would let me take something you know i don't advocate so maybe selfishly you wouldn't be bothered by my advances? well needless to say i had an emotional affair & i still talk to him occasionally. it keeps me from going crazy because unfortunately i will be staying w/ the half gay until the kids are older

A woman ILIASM said that her father tried to castrate himself to reduce his libido so he'd be able to be content in his sexless marriage. I've seen others here asking seriously about what they can do to reduce their libidos.

when i was researching it i actually saw a LOT of people asking this question. i'm sure if you traveled in time & told people 50 years ago that men wouldn't want to have sex in the future they would just look at you like you're crazy!

This would be like a starving person taking an appetite suppressant when there is no food available , to the refused in a sexless marriage .
When you're starving , you're starving .. Hiding the fact won't make you happy or healthy .

base selfish addicts as opposed to loving mature men. Uncontrolled sex drive dethrones a man to his basest levels, worse than animals. the human mind is too prone to heinous pollution and the end of the addiction can lead to brain damage, mental illness, crime and even death

Heck even animals have order and proper time and place for having sex. In fact most of them do it waaay less than humans. Just in seasons a year, and humans do it multiple times per day.

We are the most disgusting race on the planet by far. There is NOTHING natural about having excessive sex drive, it's just perverted, vulgar and hypersexual western propaganda that claims something as silly as that.

One's for sure I won't stop until I find a solution to my high sex drive. Valerian's next in the line to try ;)

I've said that contempt is the battery acid of marriages...

If you are still around, Liberated?
I'm wondering if you have honestly bared your soul to your husband?
You should say something like this:

"You disgust me. I find you and your urges for sexual connection repulsive."
"I have a great deal of contempt for you because you have a sex drive. I never want you to touch me sexually again."

If you haven't done, what's stopping you from honestly sharing your feelings of thorough contempt for a core part of his being?

My husbands disgusting obsessive sex drive killed mine so it canceled mine out,? I'm a total prude now and loving it. He can live happily ever after with his sick mind and right hand. Don't blame me for his perverse depravity, I was perfectly normal when we married but his twisted extreme compulsion turned me off forever and now I feel free. I used to resent it and feel hurt but now I feel it was sort of a strange gift. Freedom from sex is liberating. My body objects now and then, hence the herb search, but otherwise its quite pleasant.

Just wondering what you consider disgusting and obsessive?

ROLMAO - a piece of wedding cake! So maybe I should marry him and then we'll both be happy with the status quo.

Apparently some folks (refusers) have nerves that connect between their libido and ring finger. It's the metal that suffocates and kills the nerves...

Is that what livestrong is?? I'm horrified - a lot of my students are wearing their wristbands - but it doesn't seem to work, especially on teenaged spaniards!! Hurrah!! xx

Yeah, I guess decreasing your libido might work as a solution to a sexless marriage. Then again, so might committing suicide or pushing your refuser off a cliff.

But going around having sex with anyone, acting hypersexual and not care about fidelity, loyalty or any other moral value is certainly the way to go huh!?

One's life partner is more important than one's selfish lustful sex drive.
Sex may not even be in your life and you can still be 100% happy, but if your soul mate leaves you, you can have all the sex drive you want and you'll still be miserable.

Bottomline message to the hypersexual western culture:
There's more to life than sex!

LOL!! <br />
<br />
TB I had not heard that on but I like it!!

Thanks, WUIT! I was just thinking I was going to need to throw myself under a bus!!! I agree with you about the exercise, I've found it just makes me want to **** more, not less. <br />
<br />
Princess Hasaseriousproblem

Ok if your partner loses a leg in an accident does that mean you should cut your leg off so you can be as crippled as they are. Any normal person should never tinker with themselves to attempt to make themselves abnormal, doing things like that are a really good way to damage your body and cause further problems. The solution is find a normal partner which is the only valid solution. Trying to cripple yourself is self destructive and the goal unrealistic. In a way this is almost as bad as being suicidal because there is no positive in this kind of situation.

1.Cutting one's leg because your partner lost it, would not help in any possible logical, hypothetical, abstract or in any other way.

2.Decreasing one's LUSTFUL SELFISH sex drive so one can stay loyal to his/her partner DEFINITELY can help both him and his partner. In fact it will save the relationship.

3.Excessive sex drive is more crippling than nonexistant one.
Trust me I say that as I have problems with excessively high sex drive.

4.There is NOTHING natural about excessive sex drive, otherwise all animals would be way more sexual then humans(which is faaar from truth) considering their high testosterone levels and such.
The myth about high sex drive being sign of health is nothing more but a perverted, promiscuous and hypersexual western propaganda and their **** industry fellows.

So please before stating something like that, think a bit more and try to view things from sufferer's angle.

If animals have lower sex drive than evil Westernized humans, as you imply, which animals are you referring to? I've raised rabbits and canines and both unaltered groups were constantly banging whatever was close by.

Pretty much most of mammals.

Most of them have seasons when they do it, yet humans do it every day multiple times regardless of what season it is.

Also it is interesting that you took rabbits and canines as an example, but how about taking penguins, sharks, some bees, gibbons, swans, and some fish as an example?

I'm not claiming that there aren't animals with high sex drive, all I'm saying is that animals who have sex every single day multiple times are RARE, instead most of them have some kind of sexual season.

Too much of almost anything is not good...

We have a sex drive for a reason and who judges what is excessive? If it is what your body naturally desires then it is what was naturally built into you and there is nothing unnatural about that except having a viewpoint that it is unnatural to have a sex drive.

Unfortunately people have different levels of sexual desire and the mistake that seems to be so prevalent and why so many are here is that you have a high desire person with a low desire person. Unless some sort of compromise can be reached that is satisfactory to both someone will always be unhappy in this relationship.

People don't seem to pay as much attention to this detail as they should in a situation where they are supposedly mating till death do they part. But there is a phase that most people get involved in called limerence which has a high hormone period and triggers a higher than usual desire period during the initial phase of a relationship. Many high desire people mistake this for someone that has a high sex drive unfortunately this is a temporary condition designed to carry on the species. We are at the mercy of our hormones more than we would like to think. They often cancel out our ability to think rationally. I wrote a fairly thick book on the subject that is in it's third printing so I have some idea of what's going on with human sexuality.

Attempting to modify yourself to "Make It Work" will not change your basic character or thought patterns and changing your hormone levels will not entirely eliminate your sex drive unless you get castrated and even that may not totally eradicate the urge because the brain is the largest sex organ in the body and that is where most of our sexual urges originate. So unless you are prepared to lobotomize yourself you will never be able to eradicate all sexual desires from yourself.

The point is why should you be expected to do all the changing marriage is supposed to be a partnership and that means there should be compromise. Refusers don't compromise at all and that is total rejection of the marriage vow because they are not participating in marriage they are like a kid that takes the football and goes home when they don't get their way. Unless you have an engaged partner who is interested in having a real relationship and who gives a damn about your happiness and who is willing to extend themselves and make an effort to do things that please you too you are screwed but not in a good way.

Marriage is not about sacrificing yourself on the altar of your partners wants constantly that is mentally damaging and unhealthy. Unless you both work together to create a mutually satisfactory environment where the relationship can flourish you might as well sign the papers tomorrow because you are already divorced you just haven't made it legal yet.

"Who judges what is excessive" - Your own rational mind.

If sex is interfering with your life, taking most of your time and in turn affecting your career and social life negatively, that's a pretty good sign that you should crank it down.
You don't have to be a scientist, just observe your life and try to get it in balance.

That is not a case of just having any kind of normal sexual desire what you are talking about is more like a clinical condition that requires medical intervention. That's not something that can be handled on a do it yourself basis. Some people are "addicted" to sexual stimulation just as others are addicted to drugs and others are addicted to adrenalin highs that they get from performing dangerous acts such as base jumping. When something takes over your life to the extent that it is all that you can focus on it becomes an obsession and obsessive compulsive behavior is definitely not self treatable. If you suffer from this sort of problem I would recommend that you seek professional help to reestablish some sort of balance in your life.

However what I said before about a partnership still applies very much. If you have a loving partnership with someone and you are both committed to a future together then there must be a compromise that works for both not a one sided solution because that never works in the long run.

Thanks for giving me an advice to seek professional help. I've already gone for it, I was diagnosed with Pure OCD, and I am getting much better since I am on treatment (now realizing that what I had all this time was not a sex addiction itself but just a strong terrible symptom of pure OCD).

I never said that people should go for a one sided solution whenever they have a conflict with their partner, however, sometimes it is the only option, and if you're a generous person and a real gentleman it will work great for you in the long run, you won't complain. Your partner however, if he or she is good enough for you, will recognize and appreciate that very much and return you a favor in some other way, regarding some other problem inside of your relationship.

But ultimately people shouldn't obsess, dwell on and measure how much someone has one done for the other. That itself is much worse than having a one sided relationship, because if you're calm and satisfied, you will possibly find happiness even in a relationship where most of the times you do "the dirty work". However if you're a negative person nit picking every favor and expecting to balance the give-receive ratio as soon as it's been disturbed, then you won't be happy even if you were to date a God/Goddess.

As for our initial discussion - I don't think it's necessarily bad if someone is having sex 5+ times a day with his long as they are loyal to each other that's all that matters. However I'm just pointing to a clear fact that that should not constantly be justified with "it's completely natural", cause it's everything but that.
Besides, hypersexuality, even if practiced exclusively between two loyal partners isn't good for your health, for the development of your brain and because it is creating a habit that may be passed onto the genes of your children who's brains may not interpret it in the same monogamous way in which you did...and that could be fatal.

That's just my opinion. Again, I don't blame anyone who has sex often, I just simply believe that IT IS NOT NATURAL to have sex as often as humans do these days.
If you ask me, it started off as just a way of making children, which was practiced only once in a while mostly for reproductive purposes and a little bit as a pleasurable activity, but these days it's purpose became purely recreational and little to none reproductive.

You seem to think that most people are making like rabbits but in fact it is much the opposite. There are supposedly 40 million sexless marriages in the United States alone and in many of the developing countries the birthrate has been in a negative replacement rate for quite a while. The US would have been negative for some time if it were not for immigration. Sex is not as frequent as you seem to think even among the young and fit. You can chase statistics all day long and as a wise man once stated you can make statistics state whatever you want if you only look for the numbers you want, another called them lies and damned lies which may be closer to the truth.

The crux of the situation is that people should do what makes them happy or as they say whatever fits your freak. If two people get along and no one is unhappy that's their business and no one else's really. The idea that I object to is damaging yourself to attempt to accommodate someone else that obviously has problems too because that can have effects that are unintended and that can change your life in unpleasant ways.

Fooling with your hormones is extremely unwise because you can screw up the balance of your body and end up triggering things like arthritis and other immune system disorders. Even a vasectomy can play hell with your system I speak from experience on that one I have to rub testosterone on my arms each day just to maintain some semblance of normality. The vasectomy caused me to stop producing all male hormones entirely and you might think that would have killed my sex drive but it didn't it just made it terribly difficult to get an erection.

Damaging yourself in what may be a permanent way that may have unforeseen effects on your future health doesn't make sense in any rational way. You also seem to think that sex is mostly for reproductive purposes far from it, the major function of sex is to bind the relationship and keep people close to each other.

Sharing their bodies with each other is the most intimate form of communication that two people can indulge in and this is what reinforces the relationship and how two people express their care and concern for each other. Sex is only partially about reproduction and in humans the bigger function is to keep the relationship tight and make the bond grow. Without this there isn't much to a relationship sex becomes a sweaty meaningless ritual of little consequence. The majority of the people that come here came here because they wanted the extra dimension of that bond the warmth and caring that flows between two people who love when they are having sex. They have felt the coldness of neglect or been treated as a roommate but they know that something more is possible.

But I learned a long time ago that people will do what they want regardless so good luck with whatever you do.

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