I have heard a lot of people talk about cheating as their answer to the no sex issue. I think that most people are in the thinking stage from what I have read and only a few have acted on this impulse.
"In the end, all you really have is your name".
And that name, in this life, I think, should be regarded with great care and consideration. Reckless passionate abandon is forgivable in the young but in the "wiser" it is considered a deep personality flaw by others.
Addendum:I was super tired when I started the thread last night, but where I miss the importance of what I am trying to say is:
The loss from this kind of decision is huge. What I mean by "name" is the personality/trust/important details of why people have esteem for you...when you get "found out" even your friends can't help but feel something about your decision. Not to mention the way your spouse perceives you. (Although that may be just what she/he needed to see, when she is picking up the pieces of her self-esteem, she will want to gather support, and the support group could include people you wouldn't want to know about your affair. My sister is always big on gathering people to her side and sometimes she outright lies about her husband in very damaging ways toward how people think of him. Some people in their community won't even talk to him...and he's a really great guy.)
I have seen it happen many times - we all have....and it is always so sad/angry/bitter. I really feel for the people it affects. Divorces resulting from being "found out" can be highly charged and damaging.
Of course sex is sex. I have no moral issue regarding taking on a lover, but I do only in the sense that "if" I am caught, the world that I built in my community would change forever and I need to come to terms with that. It is what has kept me from taking a lover (and I have had some really great opportunities that might have remained discreet, but I always picture them falling in love and then trying to talk to my husband....!)