All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX
ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the house. He watched **** on the Internet, had huge folders of naked women photos on our computer, even chatted up other women by e-mail. (He was once a member of this forum, by the way).
I had thought he visited prostitutes, but wasn't sure. I knew he went to topless bars with his friends, where they got lap dances. I found out that they would also visit massage parlors in our area, to get hand jobs. He said he loved me and wanted to be intimate with me, but he had no idea about what was going on inside of me, didn't know what I was thinking, how I had become disgusted with him.
He used to be very romantic, think only about me, but that changed long ago. After he got into the **** and other stuff his attitude was more like he'd have sex with anyone who was willing, if he could. He saw women as sexual objects, myself, my friends who visited, women in supermarkets, everyone everywhere. His mind was filled with only one thing: SEX. When we did make love I felt like he was using me. He wanted to used sex toys, put me in positions I didn't feel comfortable with. He wanted to watch adult movies while we made love. It was gross. He wasn't paying attention to ME. We weren't making love anymore, it was like we were just F--king.
I missed my old boyfriend,the man I had fallen in love with and married, that's what I missed. I felt lost, didn't even know who this man was that I married, he'd changed so much. He'd become a bit of a pervert. "Sorry, honey, if you are reading this." I told him, "Shut off the computer and focus on me, maybe something could happen, maybe not. I just don't know, and for a long time have not cared. Why should I have sex with you if I no longer feel attracted to you? I'm not a freaking prostitute. Ugh." Fortunately, he did turn off the computer, he changed his ways, and started to come back to me. You can read our story here. Please don't jump to conclusions though. Make sure you read our whole story. Please know, that people can change. (original story edited 10/09)
1st STORY UPDATE (7/4/08, slight edit 10/09): I am not going to go in and change anything that follows, so newcomers can read the natural progression of my story. I would just like to ask anyone who reads this to check carefully all posts after #90, as people are responding to what I wrote early on in this discussion, not even taking the time to read the last few pages, where I describe how things have changed. Thank you for your attentiveness.
2nd STORY UPDATE (10/24/09): Hi everyone. I made some edits in the original post (above) so it would be clearer. Once again I must ask you to please go to page # 9 and read from there. I was very angry in the early pages, but my husband and I both made efforts to reconnect. Things have changed dramatically. Please read from page 9, or else you are missing the changes in my life. People change, but you have to pay close attention to one another, forgive one another. Understand why your partner doesn't want to have sex, if they refuse you, and why sexual intimacy is so ESSENTIAL for a marriage, if you are the refuser. Most importantly, don't jump to conclusions!!!
No Longer Lost,