My Story As It Goes I Suppose

Well a basic run down of my story goes like this. In 2003 or so, my wife and I separated, and it was ugly. She had a guy she started seeing and I had started talking to a girl after we split. A few years later we decided to make it work, or try to. We have 'tried " since 2005 with an odd thing that has happened. We became friends again, and I mean good friends. We just couldn't and wouldn't have sex. Now this isn't for a lack of me trying. She would always give me the I don't like the way I look excuse, or the I just don't trust you fully yet, or some other reason why we couldn't. She at one point came and said I should find it and not bring it home, but that wasn't what I wanted and even when i did even talk to someone she got mad jealous. We have tried a very few times over the last 5 years with endings a half an inch in and her saying she can't but it wouldn't bother her if I finish with her in bed next to me. Or her looking at me just before and saying she just couldn't. 5 that we have separated, I am so scared of disease or some other thing, that it just makes me too careful...

There you go...basic run down.
n0ble n0ble
41-45, M
10 Responses Sep 6, 2010

Thanks for the clarification n0ble.<br />
Seems like the separation is the way to go still. You can (both) work on your individual issues, and leave the other to get on with their life.<br />
If, at some future stage, the "bing" returns for you both you can take it from there.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

We are separated and not living together. I am just sharing my fairly recent story.

I can't get the key point here. Are you back together (trying to introduce a component of sexual ex<x>pression back into it) ? or are you still separated (but trying to introduce a sexual ex<x>pression component into that) ?<br />
Anyway, it looks like you were apart for 2 years - and during that time she was unable (or didn't try) to work on whatever it was that was bothering her - and you make no mention of anything you did about yourself either.<br />
Chances are, if you keep pushing the sexual ex<x>pression agenda with her, it won't take too long to get back to 2003 again.<br />
Tread your own path.


LOL yea while I suppose success can be "measured" in different ways...that was one success that i wish was slightly different.

Wow! You got half of an inch in?!?? <br />
This is the best sexless marriage success story I have read in ages!!!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Just trying to lighten the mood.

If you are cool with the situation, great. I would suggest keep trying. You never know. And have her tested for STD. Might be source of her aversion. Interesting situation though.

Thank you. We have been in the i hate you phase before..and it lasted a while. I do think this time will be easier than that since we have both been open and honest about the state of our marriage and what both of us want and need this least I hope.

Trust me there may not be hard feelings now, but it will get to you eventually. You are at the understanding stage now I suppose. Just know that in life we as humans need more than just friends! Good Luck, I wish you all the best!!!

yea I am very lucky her and I are still friends and there are no hard feelings.