Can Someone Help Me With A Divorce?I've been with my wife for 8 years, we met in college. We struggled with our sex life for 7 of those years. I asked for therapy on year 3 of being together, she refused. Fast forward to year 9, we finally went to therapy, went to 4 now including a sex therapist. Pretty much all of them at the end told me "You have a decision to make here. If you're wife will not change and you are unhappy, then you have to make a decision." The last one finally said to me, "You know my first husband never really changed until I told him I wanted out. I'm not saying that's what you should do, I'm just letting you know your options."
I realized after much introspection that I held on to fantasy. My wife is beautiful, smart, blonde, blue-eyed, an amazing body. I couldn't fathom seeing her with another man, and I couldn't let go of my fantasy that I was with the beautiful wife of my dreams. But isn't it epic that I can't have sex with her?
I have always made close to double her income since we were married, so I know I will have to part with a lot of my own money and contributions to our combined savings. I want to divorce because I earn a lot more than she does and frankly, I really don't see the situation changing any longer and all I'm doing is making myself poorer financially, and wanting to kill myself every other day for my miserable situation.
I can honestly say I've tried everything - really everything, but a full blown Tiger Woods affair - or a divorce. I think a divorce will either change her or at least give me a chance at life. If I still want to kill myself after being depressed for god knows how long, I guess that's always an option.
I believe we will do this one amicably. We have no children. We own no property, just bank savings accounts and retirement accounts.
Can someone provide some guidance on how to do this right, and without lawyers? I live in California.
How do I ask for it? How quickly does it happen once filed?