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Looking For Advice

I am a 32 year old mother of one and stepmother of one.... Both boys both the same age... The problem my spouse and I have are serious trust issues... I dont necesarily have them with him but since he has done so much dirt in this life time I am inclined to believe that he expects to be dogged out by me. He is a divorcee and this is my first marriage and I prayed before I said I do that it would be my only, however things are not looking so great. My husband of almost two years is a horrible father... A good hearted person yet a drunk, and when I say that I mean instead of breakfast he would rather have a crown and coke...He doesnt drink everyday due to work but i do believe if he had no Job he would be an alchoholic. He drinks at home and is non violent but very distant and alonw when he drinks. I dont bother him anymore. Any way thats just one problem.... He gets in childern arguements which irks me cause boys will argue and disagree... I think children resolve their issues better than adults most of the time.... He jumps at anyting his ex tells him to do.. I think a lot of that stems from his biological  father being a drug addict and not being there for him makes him open for manipulation,,, PRIME example... his sons birthday just passed... My family was asking months prior so they could celebrate it tooo... She (THE EX) had a party for him at his school that my husband informed me about 3 hours before the party. I haD A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMNT OF A WEDDING THAT MY SON AND I WERE BOTH IN AND COULDNT REARRANGE AT SHORT NOTICE. I asked him not to go. told him we could have our own party later that day... He said He didnt care he would go to as many private parties that his ex would give for his son year after year cause its his son and he's not going to miss his birthday party cause she didnt give anyone else enough time... I said we can have a party 3 hours later it will still be his birthday... He stormed out the house nad left... We always have arguements like this... Fortunately  a m a happy successful woman and all I am looking for is things to sort out. Either together or seperate.
wishitwasdifferent wishitwasdifferent 31-35, F 4 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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My goodness, it sounds like he can be a handful. It also sounds like your situation can only worsen if he's not receptive to discussion. My advice would be for you to read back to yourself the story you submitted and you might find the answer you need to stay or leave.

check out a drug called naltrexolene for alcoholics. if he cannot stay sober then i think you should leave him. i personally know that life with an alcoholic is very difficult. liveing alone as a single parent is healthier. you don't want your child to grow up this way.

This is incredibly difficult for you, I know.



Yes, he needs to get into rehab or AA or something, but more importantly, you need support for yourself. Alanon can be very helpful, but don't expect AA or Alanon to save your marriage. That's not what they are about.



Save yourself from his downward spiral. If he'll stop drinking to keep his job, maybe he'll stop to keep his life. My thoughts are with you both.

oh sweetie, i feel for you. i think its rehab for him or you need to go, go, go.