Blue Balls And Blue BoxAnyone "refused" knows that it gives (or gave) us the EMOTIONAL blues. But refusal of sexual release creates painful, PHYSICAL blues as well for both men and woman. Perhaps everyone already knows this, but it proves that not only do they not care about our emotional health but our physical health as well.
Would a "loving" wife intentionally inflict intense pain to her husband's testes and penis? By not providing an ****** for a man, release of *****, his epididymis gets blocked up because his ***** has left his testes but not his penis. This restricts his blood flow and causes blood to pool, therefore making his balls ache from the swollen blood.
Would a "loving" husband intentionally inflict intense pain to his wife's pelvic area? By not providing an ****** for a woman, her vaginal opening and clitoris become swollen due to engorgement of blood. This causes aching because of the heaviness in her entire pelvic area.
With this said, how could a "loving" spouse be able to live with themselves if they knew they are causing physical pain to their loved one? I guess the answer to that is the same as the reason how they can live with themselves knowing that they are causing emotional pain. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER TO THEM IF THEIR "LOVED ONE" IS SUFFERING! It's all about THEM.
There are so many physical and emotional reasons for not being able to climax. There's Erectile Dysfunction, problems after childbirth, a physical illness, a problem after having a surgery. There's emotional illnesses resulting from sexual trauma and sexual abuse. There's illnesses such as Depression or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or High Blood Pressure. There's effects of taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications. And then there's physical changes which naturally come with age.
All I am trying to express is that it could be any number of these or other reasons for not being able to reach ******, but if a spouse does not even admit to having a problem, if they refuse to admit there even is a problem, if they make their spouse feel guilty, feel ashamed, feel to be the one at fault, feel to be asking for to much, and makes them feel undesired, unwanted, confused, upset, angry and frustrated, then this is not only a case of Emotional Abuse but also of Physical Abuse because lack of sexual intimacy indeed causes BOTH.
I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist. I'm just a woman who loved my self enough to leave an 18 year sexless marriage evenn though I truly loved my then-husband. He wouldn't discuss his issue. He got mad at me, yelled at me and insulted me whenever I brought up "the issue". I used to tell him in a most loving tone, "The day I stop caring about improving our marriage will be the day when I just don't care anymore". This was not enough motivation for him to seek professional help of any sort. He was complacent and content with not having sexual intimacy with his wife.
All I know is that is that I would never inflict pain on my Fiance (unless it's the good kind). I love him, therefore I want him to be emotionally and physically healthy so I will continue to shower him with sexual intimacy in every way possible. He feels the exact same way for me. Honest communication makes all things possible.
Good luck to all of you on your personal journeys.
ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 23 Responses 0 Oct 16, 2010