What's The Deal?I just realized how much time I spend pretending to be something I am not or pretending to have a life that I do not. I attend a lot of my H’s business functions, i.e. dinners, award ceremonies, openings…etc. I am expected to dress sexy (not trashy sexy, but elegant sexy), engage his clients and peers in interesting conversation, be an adoring wife who hangs on his every word, etc…At these events my H, becomes physical…puts his arms around me, holds my hand, talks to others about the joys of marriage. Sometimes another man will tell him how lucky he is to have me for a wife. He agrees with such comments and adds his own. He is quite affectionate at these social events. All who know us think that we have a great healthy relationship. However, the second it’s over, and we get in our car, everything changes. The affectionate flirty man at the event immediately turns back to the cold indifferent man I live with on a daily basis.
This radical shift in personality has always confused me, and I end up feeling hurt. He has an event coming up that would require us to travel, and he wants to book the tickets. I am saying that I don’t want to go. I just don’t want to go through that right now.
As I am thinking about going, I am wondering why/how he is able to be so affectionate and turn it off so quickly. Does he really have those feeling for me, but feels safer to show them in public. Am I just there to promote an image??
If you have any thoughts on this, I would love to hear them.