It's Can I Move

So I've been in a sexless marriage for more than 3 years. I didn't have sex with my husband for over 3 years. Maybe more. We've been married 6 years but never been that sexual our relation. I thought we'll figure things out but I guess we don't.
I've tried to make things work but he never knew how to react...just promised he will get better...better at what?
Like so many in my situation...I know it is not me. I know I am pretty, smart, and funny when I want to. :) I think I deserve better.
Waiting so long for him to do "something" made me.... empty, emotionless. I have no feelings for him anymore. I feel like moving on...I don't know how to tell him that. I still have like 3 months of some school left till I can look for a job. Is there a law he should take care of me since I'm really with nothing? He was the only one working for last years. I also came from a different country.
I'm scared but so tired that feel powerful of taking some sort of step.... Anyone with some ideas or almost same situation?
MissLucifer MissLucifer
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 6, 2011

1) See a divorce lawyer and get advice. <br />
2) Start smiling to other handsome men you meet in your day.

I am U.S. citizen. Have all the paper right. The job... I know it will come. Friends I have but those common friends, like family friends. I don't want to talk to anyone about my private life. This site seemed a great place to vent and get some info.<br />
I really want to move on on my own. I'm not a strong believer in friends unfortunately...I guess.<br />

See a lawyer and get information on what you are entitled to. <br />
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Find some friends in your community who can help you or just give you moral support later. <br />
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Since you are a foreigner, check into your residency status. Not sure if you already have citizenship or permanent residency. If not, that's an area to look into. <br />
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The months you have remaining, to finish school, is the perfect time to plan your escape. Look for a job so you have something to move into when you leave.

Thanks bazzar!<br />
Making an "exit plan" to me seems bad, painful to him. I was thinking more of moving in a different bedroom and move out when I can actually look for a job. The thing is that he never showed me anything about our banking accounts, savings...or anything. I don;t know what we have, what is my "part". But I know I don't know anything either...I'm thankful he paid for school. I wouldn't mind something to start my life with either. So I don;t want to hurt him or take advantage of him either.<br />
We didn;t try counseling...he did go for a didn;t help... He did not say anything about counseling together either. I don't think I want that either. No one can tell me how I feel.

You are dead set on leaving ?<br />
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Thought it all out, looked at it from every angle ? Tried assorted things like counselling with no result ?<br />
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If so, then you need to get your exit plan together. Where you'll live, finances etc all the way down to the household goods. Do it thoroughly, in as much detail as you can.<br />
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Then, with your exit plan ready to instigate, you really need to eyeball him, and tell him what you are doing and put a date on it. <br />
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Be kind. Be generous. As he has been supporting you, he might feel he has been severely dudded on this deal. And indeed, he could be right.<br />
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Tread your own path.