Here it is 4 days before valentine's day and I don't even care anymore. It's just another day in the year. A day when every romantic couples celebrates their love or should anyway. I have not given anything to my husband in over 8 years for this particular day. The reason being is that in 2003 he became verbally abusive and threatened my life. I left him a week later on valentines day and stayed with my parents for 4 months. Then when we began counseling he said the threat had been a joke...he was only kidding and I should lighten up. He told me that he was heartbroken that I left him on valentines day and that he'd never get over it. In the few years after this I did buy him gifts but I never even got a kiss or thank you in return. So now here it is 4 days before valentines day and it's just another day. I realize that we could pick another day to show our love but if we have not had sex in 9 years then I'm not going to hold out much hope for anything else. The thing is I can tell he is trying to keep me now that he knows I want to leave. How do I tell him my love for him is gone? How do I get him a gift for valentines day when my heart is no longer in it? If he gives me a gift but I give him nothing in return what will that say to him?