Sexless, Sexless, Sexmore?

it has been quite a while since i have partaken in this forum.  it was such a good support for a time, knowing that many suffer the same way that i did.  coping is painful and one gets even more lost in that period of their lives.  for me personally, the more i dwelled in my situation, the more it affected me.  so i turned a new leaf and completely focus on bettering myself mind-body-spirit.  i became more confident and as a positive symptom, became very attractive to many, especially my wife.  quite frankly as soon as i was ready to venture and explore, my sexless marriage became sexMORE marriage.  we seem to be having the time of our lives and i am engulfed in the passion in her that was so lost for so long? i encourage all you to not just hang in there, but take positive action in bettering all the arenas in your life that you can.  this way, you will be prepared to make better decisions, but more importantly feel great about yourself, which is quite the turn on to the opposite sex.  when you focus on a problem, the problem becomes bigger, when you focus on success, it prevails.  you will emanate that winning attitude that everyone wants to be a part of.  it is easy to feel sorry for oneself and sit back and complain how dredful this stage of a relationship is, but the alternative of taking action brings results, brings clarity, brings changes...  try it, i highly recommend it.
lonewolf11 lonewolf11
41-45, M
4 Responses Feb 27, 2011

I've tried focusing on career, working out, marathon training, sexy clothing, lingerie, brazillian wasing....I get hit on by everyone at the gym but nada from my husband. He must be gay. Looking my very best is actaully more dangerous as more opportunities to cheat are thrown at me. I'm going to give in soon if my husband does not step up to the plate.

Veritas nailed it. Good for you.

I agree with focusing on solutions. Whatever that means in a person's situation. instead of saying my life is horrible and i am so unhappy day after day, do something to correct even a small bit of the problem. .make yourself and your happiness a priority. Make a plan to get your self a better life.Look at your life, think about your life, and find out what steps you can take to help yourself.It may mean talking to your spouse.It may mean talking confidentially to your family about your situation, It may mean, marital counseling, or going to a lawyer it may mean having an affair. ,But do something, besides sitting and, wishing for a better day. Take charge of your life,<br />
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And your positive results, show that it is important to not just sit and cry. Good for you for taking charge of your life.<br />
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Congratulations. I'm glad you're strategy has worked on two levels. You've improved yourself AND your marital situation has improved. <br />
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Obviously, there IS hope for some sexless marriages. <br />
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Wishing you continued success and a long passionate marriage.