Narcissistic Personality DisorderEveryone has a bit of the narcissist in their personality, which is normal, but when this gets carried to the extremes and turns into Narcissistic Personality Disorder then there is definitely trouble ahead for anyone that tries to have a relationship with this person. Some of the key symptoms are excessive aggression, they are verbally abusive, exhibit defensiveness and being manipulative and using other people while still trying to be a crowd pleaser. Someone that has this problem is usually critical of other people, often rude, arrogant, sarcastic and aggressive in private when no one else can see their behavior. They are often angry and take it out on those that are closest to them. It’s not fun too be the whipping boy for a narcissist and they are very two faced hiding this behavior in public and only letting the evil genie loose on those that they can bully in private.
A narcissist will pretend to be operating from high standards but the reality is that they are only critical of others while the standards for their own behavior are non-existent which results in them being flaky hypocrites who pander to the public image while something much darker lurks under the surface. They frequently make promises that they have no intention of keeping and spend a lot of their energy, seeking people who will adore them or who they can vent their aggression on either by provoking fights or gossiping about people behind their backs.
These people often follow a pattern of seducing and then abandoning lovers, friends and people that they have conned into admiring them. Their lack of empathy and excessive self-interest mixed with an ability to manipulate and charm others make them highly abusive to live with. It doesn’t bother them at all to exploit their partners sexually, financially or blaming everything else that happens in the relationship on the partner. They will hinder any attempt by their partner to regain self-esteem or strengthen their personal position in the relationship and will actively seek to keep their partner in a servile position and to in effect keep them as a sort of slave.
The reality is that a narcissist is like a very selfish child; they find it hard to share anything but especially attention. They have a driving need to be the center of attention and will go to great lengths to be the focus of everyone in their environment. Often they will make up stories about themselves in an attempt to make them more important than they are and they will consistently blame others for any wrong doing that they commit. This behavior flourishes in those that are charming and attractive because this gives them an advantage and allows them to get away with this behavior more often. They pretend to be humble and very likeable in public and often choose a less socially competent partner to be their foil and will mercilessly exploit them to get whatever they have chosen as their goal. Narcissists usually sulk or get excessively angry if they are seen to be in the wrong or make mistakes, they often rage or throw tantrums and will often insist on rewriting history to cover their mistakes.
These people are constantly looking for attention; they flirt and often have affairs either real or fantasized and are very susceptible to becoming addicted to ***********. Many of them become cyber socio-paths who have online affairs with a bunch of people that they manipulate and lie to. At their core narcissists are often very lonely and terribly desperate for the affection of a perfect person that they have created in a fantasy. They create this illusion trying to create someone that will adore them and be always sympathetic to their behaviors. This double life that they create means that they are never really satisfied with reality and they take it out on those that are close to them.
In a way a narcissist is like an emotional vampire, they want people around them to focus all attention on them and are constantly manipulating those around them to try and achieve the spotlight. Narcissism is a sort of obsessive type behavior pattern that can wreak havoc on those that get involved with a person that has this type of personality. These people are often very abusive but often are very sneaky in undermining their victims. They can be quite vicious but often go through extraordinary contortions to try and hide what they are doing. It’s hard to reconcile the difference between their charming public persona and the lying manipulative behavior that goes on behind their façade. They can do terrible damage to those around them and often leave a wake of misery behind them.
Excerpt from the book Sexless Marriages and Other Relationship Disasters 3 by WarriorPoett (David Schreiner) Copyright 7-20-2013
Which is available in soft cover at: www.createspace.com/4351647
This book is also available on Kindle and other electronic readers I'm pretty sure you can also download a free reader from Amazon that will also let you read it on your cell phone
Amazon will give you a free reader for Kindle books that you can use to read them on your PC or laptop. It is called Kindle for PC and is available as a free software download from Amazon.
Warriorpoett 56-60, M 14 Responses 10 Mar 10, 2011