She's Not The Woman I MarriedI have a picture from the dating days of my wife and I. She is sitting on my lap, smiling, and her arms are wrapped around my shoulders. Her head was resting gently against me. Her smile glowed radiantly as my hands are holding her waist. Those were the best years of my life. We spoke on the phone often. Our bodies were for one another to share. We shared interests. When I spoke to her she cared.
When we would meet she would always have a little thoughtful gift for me. We would laugh often. She took and kept pictures of us together and had them fr
We held hands and hugged each other often.
She would buy me beautiful cards just to tell me that she loved me.
We would go out to dinner or go dancing as a couple.
The lovin' was good also.
When I felt down or discouraged she was there for me.
It went this way several years into the marriage. She smothered me a bit, but I was very happy. We had kids and we were a joyous family. We would joke and play together. I even recall a time that I "mooned" my wife and son (he was about 2 years old). They both laughed, especially my son. We did things together all the time. We went to parks. Little vacations to the beach. Life was good.
Then, the changes came about. I have covered the reasons many times on here. For those of you not familiar with my story, neighboring frigid housewives got a hold of my wife. They were determined if their husbands weren't happy, then neither should I. That is a long and complicated story.
So, now, I look at the picture and I am so grateful for the love I had. Although I miss it greatly. I will probably always miss it. But, one thing is for certain now, she is not the woman I married. She no longer takes pictures of me. In fact, I think she has only put about 2 pictures of me on her facebook, even though she has posted hundreds. In fact, she has never invited me to see her facebook.
No longer will she sit on my lap. In fact, when I try to hug her or touch her, the first reaction she has is to pull away. This has been going on for years.
She never shows any response to any subject I discuss. I can predict her replies, they are almost robotic. They usually consist of "that's good." There was a time that she told me that she loved listening to me talk. Often times when I ask her simple questions she replies in irritated tones.
We no longer hold hands.
The only time we go out is with groups of friends.
I never get any cards or little loving trinkets.
I can only recall two times in the last 5 years that she told me that she loved me. Once was after I got a bonus, the other was before she was going shopping.
The change has been obvious to many people who know us. Her family has made statements to me. Her friends. My eldest child even made a remark that he thought that I was in a loveless marriage to my wife.
She acts like I am a bit repulsive physically, even though I have had comments made by other women that I look good. There was also a time that I was working on something in the house and my lose fitting shorts slid down and my butt popped out. My wife made a disgusted face when it happened. It was such a far cry from years ago.
I understand that things change. That the affection may wane a little. That the notes grow fewer, and the romance drifts off a bit. But, this has been a 180 degree change. To go from a valued, beloved husband to an irritation has been very hard to endure. The best therapy that I have had is realizing that she has changed. That I just don't matter to her for some reason or another.
I am still around for the kids, but I'm sure the days are numbered.
ManMovingForward 41-45, M 39 Responses 3 Mar 31, 2011