Frustrations of a Sexless Marriage
When we were dating, we had incredible sex twice a week. I assumed when we got married and moved in together that this would increase - or at least not decrease!
Immediately after marriage, it dropped to twice a month. Then after the birth of our first child, sex dropped to once every 2 months where it's been for the past 10 years. I kept waiting for it to improve, but now realize nothing will happen unless I start forcing some changes.
I love my wife, and she is a wonderful person in most other ways. Everyone we know and all my friends think she is incredible. Little do they know there if no life in the bedroom. Sure we have other minor issues, as every married couple must deal with, but the majority of my dissatisfaction has to do with no sex or passion. I've mentioned this to my wife a few times over the past several years. She always says "she will work on it", but nothing ever changes.
I run a business and had to work long hours to keep it from failing. The business is looking good now, but still demanding a lot of my time. I know she wishes I was wasn't working so much, but is that any reason to turn a cold shoulder in bed? Our sex life had already declined before my work schedule increased. I work out regularly and keep myself in good shape - sometimes working out is the only thing that keeps me sane.
We have 2 wonderful daughtes and I like most everything else about my wife, but I'm at my wits end because the passion has died and I get rejected every time I try to initiate a spark.
I ordered the book "The Sex Starved Marriage" from Amazon. I will read it and show to my wife when it arrives. I'm hoping she will realize how important sex is to my life and in our marriage. If that doesn't help, then I'll probably start looking for affair(s) as I feel I'm still too young to be celibate!
I see symptoms of our situation mentioned in The Sex Starved Marriage. She tends to go to bed way before or way after me so she won't have to deal with my advances. Her mother occasionally (once a year or so) offers to watch the kids for a few days so we can get off to a romantic getaway, but my wife always finds an excuse why we can't go - I think she's afraid of being alone with me and "having" to make love. Needless to say, this is killing my self esteem.