The Ultimate Rejection
One of the most devastating facets of a sexless marriage is the lack of intimacy and this is demonstrated every time that a spouse refuses to share their body with their spouse. This is an ultimate show of their lack of sexual love and concern for their spouses wellbeing. There just isn't any way that someone can be in love with someone and not share their body with them. This is the most intimate of experiences that two people can have and refusers react to it like vampires do to sunlight. I cannot imagine trying to tell someone that I am in love with them and refusing to share my body with them. It just doesn't make sense, but then these people further compound the insult by showing such a lack of concern for our feelings that we aren't even treated as well as most people would treat a close friend.
But there are two people involved in a sexless marriage and we the party of the second part don't seem to be able to get it through our heads that there's never going to be any concern for us or emotional gratification in these marriages. We wander along like lost souls hoping for redemption that never comes. Some wake up and eventually leave to find better situations but far too many just keep drifting along until esentially they have squandered most of their life on these sexually retarded people. I guess there are many reasons that it happens some of them might be:
1. Inertia, some people have a real fear of change and will avoid anything that causes change in their life even if the present situation is painfull. They would rather accept the pain than face the idea of doing something different.
2. Some people become invested in the material things that they have accumulated along the way, and they would rather endure the emotional pain than give up all the stuff that they have packed into their overstuffed packrats nests.
3. Co-dependence some people simply don't know any other way to behave and are trapped in this mode of behavior, some finally find their way out but many never do,
4. Some people simply wait too long and their own physical health deteriorates to the point where it becomes impractical for them to consider trying to start a new life.
5. Some claim that they are staying for the sake of their children which can often cause more harm than good because the children can't be fooled and they pick up on the tension between mom and dad and they often imitate the dysfunction of their parents marriage later in life when they try to build their own relationships.
6. Probably the biggest thing of all is just plain fear of the unknown after many years people become accustomed to their situation and in many cases they simply cannot find the courage to change.
There are probably a whole bunch more reasons that people will give but in reality they are all pretty similar in the end. But consider this there are a lot of different ways to keep a partner sexually satisfied and a refuser won't participate in any of them. They will not willingly share their body with you and find no joy in that experience. They hand you the ultimate in rejections time after time and many still want you to believe that they love you. Well maybe their idea of love is something like they would feel for a pet, oh wait that can't be right they would probably pet the cat once in a while.
So for whatever twisted reasons they have found it convenient to have you around, probably for your talents as a menial servant. It keeps them from having to do all those chores by themselves, gives them status as a married person in the community, lets them pretend to their family that they are normal, and probably some other stuff that they have invented as reasons to keep you captive. But the saddest thing about the whole stupid mess is that so many of us have the keys to the cell door but we are still sitting here waiting for a pardon that will never come, all we have to do is push the door open and walk away.
Warriorpoett 56-60, M 29 Responses 11 May 1, 2011