Can You Love And Hate Your Spouse At The Same TimeI wonder how it is possible to love and hate your spouse at the same time. It's been so long since I've ever felt any intimacy from my husband that I'm not sure if I'd know it if it ever did come about.
Now I must preface this by saying for the last 5 yrs my husband has had problems caused by prostate cancer.He hasn't been able to have sex because of the treatments and I do accept that. That has never been the issue. The issue has been the other 22yrs that we've been married that I've been made to feel like a child not living up to his expectations. The times we did do anything it was always more hurry up and get it over with then my actually feeling like i was wanted. and most of the time his needs were taking care of but mine never were.
Now since he isn't able to do anything I'm questioning why we ever married to begin with. If he actually loved me or just needed someone to take care of him and do the cooking and cleaning.
I do really love him and i would give my life if I could make him well, but a part of me hates him for the way he has made me feel about myself over the yrs.
I know leaving is something that will never happen as long as he is fighting cancer, but I hate living in this.
I know there isn't any answers for me but I just wondered if I was wrong to feel this way
jacee1960 51-55, F 19 Responses 2 Jun 7, 2011