I live in a sexless marriage , but I don't know anymore who the refuser is. It actually started after our now 5 year old son was borne. My wife and I have had a total of 8 intimate encounters in those 5 years, and I have lost interest. The first incident I can remember was when I had just returned home from a six week trip. I was anxious to spend a little quality time with my wife, and she was completely disinterested. I was hurt, I just could not understand how such a long separation would not engender a need to reconnect.This rejection caused me to look back through our history, and realize that my wife had not shown any desire, and even disgust at the thought of being intimate. I was, and am in pretty good physical shape, she is not. I thought that she was struggling with the "baby weight", (that she incidentally has not lost in the five years since giving birth), or maybe some hormonal imbalance resulting from the pregnancy, who knows! Lately, I have taken a closer look back, it has been three years since the trip incident, and there simply is no spark. I dont know anymore who is to blame, if anyone, but I simply do not want to have sex with her. She is equally disinterested. Sadly, I feel a serious lacking, I feel the need for physical passion almost constantly, but no longer with her. Am I selfish? I have not strayed, but I would be lying if I did not say that the thought has more than crossed my mind, I just hate feeling this way, while she seems completely unaffected by it.It seems that there is always some scheduling problem that gets in the way, even if we were to feel the need to be together. I think what I am saying is that I have given up. She does not seem to know or care about my needs, and I just am to hurt to fight anymore. I know this is a rambling post, and hard to follow but it is raw emotion. That is seldom logical. I just need to vent. What is the problem! Am I week? Should I stray? God help me.