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Newly Married Without Sex

I married seven months ago. A 31 years beautiful and lovely person as they say inside-out. I happen to be sexy and with a vivid sexual desire. Bec of my traditions and commitment to religious beliefs, i abstained from sex all my life- with the hope of expressing my sexuality on marriage- which was difficult. It was a short enggagement, and for many reasons, we didn't get very initmate, or sexual.

During the first couple of months of marriage, we had sex twice a month, then every ten days, then every month, and now he has an ED. This was a shock for me, I thought that at least in the honeymoon, we would be intimate all the time and have sex everday. Is this wrong? I know that it will be heavy in the beg, then it will gradually decrease but not to the extent that we have now, nothing for the last 2 months! 

I talked to him abt it, and asked for more in the begining, and discussed therapy with him. He tells me that this has put pressure on him and helped to develop the ED plus that fact that he is pressured at work and in money. For me, the pressure that he (we) are in is natural, its not like he will get fired or anything, we are just working hard to get promoted and he is actually enojoying it and the resutlts in these seven months were great! and with his sharp mind and cleverness, it will only get better for him on the professional level. That's why i can't buy that the pressure we are in is causing him ED.

I feel like I live with a room-mate, we share interests, i respect him alot, i admire his mind and love him as a friend- but as a husband, it is falling apart. I hate some of his habbits, but its nothing i can't put up with. At the begining, he got nervous from my comments on his habbits and was fiercely defesive, now after the ED, and last 2 months without sex, he is sooo nice with me. He cries of fear that I would leave him. He truely loves me. But i can't imagin a future life without sex. I on sedatives that i used to take for anxiety, they help me to face the situation and reduce my sexual apetite.

I feel so tense and depressed.  On one hand i don't want to go into therapy, cuz, it seems that his libido is extreemly low by nature. It is not his fault. He will not be able to administer drugs forever, and if the ED is for psychological issues, it will take a lot of time without a gurantee for remedy or healing.

On the other hand, i don't want to give up and have a divorce. I am afriad that if i ever marry again, i will not find someone who is my friend as he is. Also, i will not be able to stay is sexless marriage. Actually, i don't go out from home and mix with people no more. I try to avoid seeing other men or seeing the way they look at me, and the sad face i get when men hear that i am married or see my wedding ring. When this happens I should feel flaterred, but i feel threatened and anxious when they do that, as is i am telling myself "you might have a chance to enjoy intemacy and sex with this guy". This threat makes me feel that i am betraying him.

Am I impatient, or unfair. To what extent should I try, or wait. I also don't want my years slip away, especially that i have no children. I want to know how to move on.

Surprised Surprised 31-35 52 Responses Mar 12, 2008

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I find it shocking how qucikly people give up on marriage these days. We live in a disposable culture. If it's not exactly what you want, throw it away and get another one.

hi dear im shiva u like sex pls call me 9250044117

good luck with that!

Totally empathise with your situation here. Must be very hard for you. Sorry to pry, but have a few questions, before I share my 2 bits with you. Are you from India and was this an arranged marriage? <br />
<br />
Another question is that - are you in love with your husband? I'm guessing not. Then you shouldn't stay in this marriage - sex or no sex.

No Indian :) but Middle Eastern. I, thankfully, got my divorce by end of 2008. I am happier alone than being married to a semi-man.

Yet, I miss and want sex -- naturally...

Erectile Disfunction... he can't get it up..

actually he could get it up ... but rarley ...

he doesn't like to get it up

what is mean by ED?

Erectile Dysfunction ....

I been with the same girl for 13 years. To date, we havent had sex in over 6 months. Is this normal? Im very attracted to her, and use her underwear to ********** myself, to have her smell and the soft feeling. What am i doing wrong? or is 2 week to 6 month a normal time fr<x>ame fore sex after 13 years?

I been with the same girl for 13 years. To date, we havent had sex in over 6 months. Is this normal? Im very attracted to her, and use her underwear to ********** myself, to have her smell and the soft feeling. What am i doing wrong? or is 2 week to 6 month a normal time fr<x>ame fore sex after 13 years?

Hello All-<br />
<br />
I am writing this in gratitude to all of you who shared your experiences here and drastically helped me when I was all alone.<br />
<br />
With tears of love I say: THANK YOU ... I got my divorce last December, now I am about 9 months back on my feet and I am that wonderful Me again :) <br />
<br />
For all of you who live in sexless marriages, give it your best shot then end it. Do not sacrifice your energy, health, happiness, and pleasure. Face your partner, discuss, listen, communicate, consult a doctor, raise flags, fight, and don't ever get pregnant. <br />
<br />
Be practical and patient to close the rooms of possible "what ifs" and to be able one day to look back to where you where without anger or regret. If all venues are closed and the vicious cycle of excuses and dryness goes on and on, Stop and Exit. Do that! Divorce is painful but deprivation is more painful. <br />
<br />
I was lucky because I had my full family support, my job, and my friends. I hope you have this kind of support too. If you don't, please don't fear depending on yourselves and standing on your own. You can do it! Yes You Can! <br />
<br />
I hope the next time I write here, I will be sharing a story of falling in love and marring someone great with whom I have passionate (or at least normal) sex life :) <br />
<br />
Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart <br />
Surprised!

well honey you do have some issues to deal with, I believe you should find someone to talk to yourself..these issues must be messing with your self esteem. No one should live in a sexless marriage.NO ONE. I do believe that if he can;'t get help you need to run....please understand that we are all here for you ......Master Edward

well honey you do have some issues to deal with, I believe you should find someone to talk to yourself..these issues must be messing with your self esteem. No one should live in a sexless marriage.NO ONE. I do believe that if he can;'t get help you need to run....please understand that we are all here for you ......Master Edward

I have read through these and there is conflicting viewpoints and advice. From your story , it does appear like the classic closeted gay. ED doesn't stop him bringing you on with his tongue. You are only given one life don't waste it in a trap.

You are not being selfish. Sex is a healthy a necessary part of marriage, and a basic human need. When people have sex, it opens you up and connects you in ways that no other interaction does, which is why it binds couples together.<br />
<br />
If he is not willing to get help, or talk about it, then it is he who is being selfish.

Go to Couple's therapy, this way you can distinguish what is emotional and what is physical as far as ED goes.

Go to Couple's therapy, this way you can distinguish what is emotional and what is physical as far as ED goes.

Hi there and sorry to hear baout your problem. From my experiance, for a guy to have a non-functioning penis does not mean the end of the road for you in terms of sex and intimacy between you and your husband. Re the intimacy thing, your husband is probably keeping his distance as a defense mechanism cos he worries that if he even gives you just a hug, it might lead to you wanting something more.<br />
<br />
You guys have to remember that you previously had a loving relationship and you need to maintain that even if his penis is not working. Intimacy is being and feeling physically and emotionally close to one another with or without a penis. Holding hands, talking on the phone, texting, sitting on his lap, talking for hours in bed, doing fun activites together etc is all initmacy without full sex. <br />
<br />
In terms of practicalities for you to have "sex" with your husband if his penis is not working, you both need to accept his penis is just one of his "sex" tools and biologically is mainly for procreation. Your husband can actually still "make love” to you even if his penis is not working. He can turn you on just by massaging you - he should do this for a long time (like an hour) and should use lots of oil on you and focus on your buttocks, your breasts and your nipples. Your husband can also use his hands (clean hands please) as replacement penis and he would totally make you come with this, in fact, it would be easier to manipulaste around your **** with his hand than his penis especially if he is out of practice. Also, you need to learn to ********** using your hands - this will require dedication, practice time and committment on your part so that eventually you understand your body best and know exactly what and how to touch on and in yourself to give you the satisfaction that you need. Intrusct him to do it really slowly and without rushing – there is no formula and no time limit. Just go with the slow. <br />
One of you or both of you will need to be quite proactive around making this all happen. You will need to discuss verbally and agree that you have the same aim around this i.e that you want sex/lovemaking and that your husband wants to provide it to you. The alternative is that your marriage crumbles or that it stagnates, you get fraustrated / resentful/you both live in denial/you stop being freinds etc. <br />
I hope I don't sound to raw or crude, I don't mea to be. My aim is to be helpful and give a very practical form of support to you and not non-specific wishy washy advice. I'm a normal/staright decent mother of two and I've been through this so I can apprecuiaite what is happening and I have also experianced the solution. I'd advise you not to pressurise or let your husband pressurise himself to have his penis sorted out cos this will just make him stressed and embarassed and he'll create avoidance and distance to hide his turmoil. I wish you the best. Sorry about the typos / spelling errors. My spellchecker aint working.<br />
M.

Pray...Fast, a responce will come soon..try everything before you think about divorce. Love is Love, sex is just sex if its not with the person you love. Its understanding that you guys are a new married couple and it is expected of you guys to have sex as much as you guys desire and if you guys trully love each other there should be no problem with talking about it or getting some help. If there wont be help...the marriage will fall apart, if he loves you the way he says, then with just that he should be able to swallow his man pride and get help to have a healthy marriage

**** on that guy!! Sounds like you have been patient enough. Tell him he is a codependant sorry excuse for a man, and he can kiss your *** goodbye.

1st talk you need to communicate then try otc pill like: cobra, horney goat, & then go from thereme i need to feel the love: kissing, touching, getting hot making her (not to be nasty) wet help me keep an erection alil erotic foreplay on here part help. have a good one hotrod860

I know leaving this guy could be difficult. However from your account of things l think you have been patient enough. There are sex machines waiting for you out there. Just do not get pregnant with this guy and leave him. I do not think you will ever regret for leaving him. The life that he is leading now is not what you want. He does not seem to be making any effort. Just take one bold step and leave him and he is going to wake up.

i dont want to sound rude or offensive but whilst i was reading ur problem i automatically considered the fact that he could be gay. the fact is, he is really nice to you, friendly, defensive, you are obviously nice looking if other guys are looking you so its not a physical problem, and if it was an arranged marriage maybe he married a woman to uphold religious and tradtional values (well he is trying to infront of everyone else). not to offend. just a suggestion...

First my Wife was like that and than she quit her job now we are going two or three times a day. Job stress can make a person fill really mest up and a lot of times you would not be able to tell that it is even there. I've been married for 20 years been with the same woman for 22 years if you would like help with this Please let me know before things go so long that it is to late O.K. <br />
<br />
Sincerely: Dean L. Muse

Ever thought about taking control of his ability to control his own sexuality. Yes I am talking about a male chastity device. It made a huge difference for me. I love my wife, I take care of all her desires and have become way more attentive to her needs than ever before. We do have regular intercourse..... either by me asking for it,... even begging for it or her requesting it from me. I am way more aware of my needs, because of me being awake and in pain in the middle of the night or little reminders during the day. My mind is way more sexual active than before. She however is in control, she holds the key and.... she knows it.<br />
She can egg me on, tease me, have her desires fulfilled and than say sleep well honey and turn around and fall asleep, just like I used to do to her. I do love her and will do anything for her. She is the Princess of my life.

Hi, <br />
I can understand how it feels. My wife appears to be very similar if not more than your husband. Things get more complicated because of my size too. I have tried to be faithful but then I don't know for how long.

i wasted years on men like this he is not your soul mate, if he was you would have strong chemistry, i remarried two years ago, and me and my husband have sex virtually every day if not sex , we stimulate each other, our sex life changes all the time as we both have the same sex drive and we always like to try new things together, and with that comes total closeness i have never felt before, we get so much feeling together i cant belive it sometimes its wonderfull, so make the break, dont waste your years.

Honey, lets face it, I think your man is gay. ED is due to the fact he is not turned on by women only by men. He probably got married because, he is not out of the closet with him family and friend. Also, apparently he is not out of the closet with you either. <br />
<br />
Why don't you just come right out with it and ask him if he prefers men.<br />
<br />
Best of luck.

What happened to trying to make a marriage work? Surely if you're ready to back out already, you're not going to be ready for marriage in any foreseeable amount of time.

I love that someone here dismisses an ED as not 'real stress'. It's so absurd that I don't have words..

checkout aven.org looks like your married to an asexual<br />
<br />
get some therapy if it doesn't work out ..pack up and leave...believe me...it has been hell for me and now i have kids... i don't wish it on anyone.

Something is not quite right!!!

umm for me i will say that sex is a natural phenomenon that God arranged for married people on this earth.For you to get married and not have sex with your husband then there must be a problem somewhere.What i will tell you is that continue to stick to your husband but then if as time goes he is still giving you some problems in your marital life,you can decide to move out...

Or there could be a very different reason.<br />
He could prefer men. This could pose problems for him with his religion.<br />
<br />
If a man prefers men, I'm absolutely fine with that, but to be fair on women, they should not marry women at all.

I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. My marriage is pretty much the same way. After turning 40 and 7 years of a relationship and 1 year of marriage, I'm still very attracted to my wife. As time goes on my sex drive has skyrocketed and hers has dwindled. My suggestion to you is to assist him with professional help for his ed. Once everything is working right, put on a sex outfit and the highest heels you can find and he'll come around.

I feel that men are expected to know how to treat a woman in bed this is not the case.even thought they may have had tons of lovers [and I'm not saying he has] doesn't mean squat .you have to teach him on what turns you on pure and simple .he may feel that you yourself not enjoying the experance.which may or maybe not the case. you will have to figure this out on your own.this is a mans point of view only [mine]

You have my total sympathy and empathy-read the story by miserablefor9years. When everything else is more important than lovemaking, it makes you feel like a total zero...and then you become one

Oh honey-I sympathize with you--my story was similar-I married the only man I had ever been intimate with--I was raised if you had sex you would be deemed a "****" so I didn't---married a man after dating for just a year-didn't know each other truly at all---had had sex with him and realistically thought "what's all the hoopla about" not even thinking at that young age of 21-that there was so much more to intimacy than just ******---my dh doesn't care about sex-Ihave learned though that there is--my life has changed dramatically and I've grown as a woman in ways that I never knew were possible--and love it! Like you my dh is more a roomate-like living with a brother--has been for god for my entire marriage-it's not the right way to be--I will never be in a relationship like that again!

Oh honey-I sympathize with you--my story was similar-I married the only man I had ever been intimate with--I was raised if you had sex you would be deemed a "****" so I didn't---married a man after dating for just a year-didn't know each other truly at all---had had sex with him and realistically thought "what's all the hoopla about" not even thinking at that young age of 21-that there was so much more to intimacy than just ******---my dh doesn't care about sex-Ihave learned though that there is--my life has changed dramatically and I've grown as a woman in ways that I never knew were possible--and love it!

it is definitely a cruel twist of fate. I think the major problem is his weight. he probably feels insecure and unattractive. it seems like he is eating to gain comfort but then the results are making him even more uncomfortable. i think he loves you though and i think he wants to be better but may not know how. men hate to admit when they are struggling with something that should be simple. If he is willing to get help i would give it a chance. i wouldnt sit through years and years of it, but if its still early and he is willing, i think there is hope.

A couple of things. First, you mention going back to your country, so I assume the two of you are from different cultures? That could be a problem, but then you started talking about him being fat, eating chocolate, fast food, etc. This could be from bad eating habits, or he may be getting his daily boost of energy from the sugar and fats he eats. He may need that energy, because he could be depressed. If this is the case, he has to help himself. You can't do it for him or for the two of you. If he won't help himself, you may have to make a break for it like you have stated. In fact, it is probably best. <br />
<br />
As I read all of these stories, some similar to mine and some not so much. I can't help but wonder why all of us with high sex drives didn't find one another, and those with low sex drives didn't find each other. It seems such a cruel twist of fate.

I feel so bad for you! I want to tell you to get out now ASAP it won't get any better! I to found myself in the same boat your in now and I will turn forty this year and after 14 years together I have got to get out. We have had sex less than 12 times in 14 years! I have done it all and it'sno better than when we started. So please I beg you to get out now before you have a child, I have one and that is the only reason I've been here this long. Please take care of yourself and good luck. Also to let you know the reason we don't have sex is that he prefers to take care of it himself if you know what I mean.

I feel so bad for you! I want to tell you to get out now ASAP it won't get any better! I to found myself in the same boat your in now and I will turn forty this year and after 14 years together I have got to get out. We have had sex less than 12 times in 14 years! I have done it all and it'sno better than when we started. So please I beg you to get out now before you have a child, I have one and that is the only reason I've been here this long. Please take care of yourself and good luck. Also to let you know the reason we don't have sex is that he prefers to take care of it himself if you know what I mean.

Oh my goodness...the food thing. I was just wondering the other day if anyone else on this site had food issue. I like food....but my hubby lusts after food. I have told him I am jealous of the sandwiches because of the lust in his eye when he looks at them.<br />
<br />
My husband is not obese, in fact , my friends do not even think he is fat.<br />
I am a health food person. I personally could not live with a person who ate a lot of junk food. Diet soda....that is the worst....the artificial sweeteners ....who knows what is in that. And the polyunsaturated fat in store-bought fried foods....oh my.<br />
<br />
Yes, he is in love with food. My hubby is too....but he is slowly coming around. You said you do not live in the USA? I know we have so many additives in our foods, it is a wonder any of us can even function anymore.<br />
<br />
You know I before I got into organics...I used to always get a stomach whenever I ate a good steak....I went to the doctor who gave me pills.....I decided to just quite eating steaks....Now I am thinking that it probably was something that they are now giving the cattle ....that was bothering me...about that time they stared giving them more substances ...like antibiotics and growth hormones.<br />
<br />
You have to decide for yourself.....but sound like this man loves food more than sex. If he wants to change....you could support him in his decision, but since this is a new marriage...I would leave him.

Oh my goodness...the food thing. I was just wondering the other day if anyone else on this site had food issue. I like food....but my hubby lusts after food. I have told him I am jealous of the sandwiches because of the lust in his eye when he looks at them.<br />
<br />
My husband is not obese, in fact , my friends do not even think he is fat.<br />
I am a health food person. I personally could not live with a person who ate a lot of junk food. Diet soda....that is the worst....the artificial sweeteners ....who knows what is in that. And the polyunsaturated fat in store-bought fried foods....oh my.<br />
<br />
Yes, he is in love with food. My hubby is too....but he is slowly coming around. You said you do not live in the USA? I know we have so many additives in our foods, it is a wonder any of us can even function anymore.<br />
<br />
You know I before I got into organics...I used to always get a stomach whenever I ate a good steak....I went to the doctor who gave me pills.....I decided to just quite eating steaks....Now I am thinking that it probably was something that they are now giving the cattle ....that was bothering me...about that time they stared giving them more substances ...like antibiotics and growth hormones.<br />
<br />
You have to decide for yourself.....but sound like this man loves food more than sex. If he wants to change....you could support him in his decision, but since this is a new marriage...I would leave him.

Mary701, <br />
The thing is that he is fatobese. He doesnot want to quit junk food at all. I stopped frensh fries at home, he eats daily outside. I see the remains of chockolate and empty covers in the trash. He is gaining weight more and more. <br />
<br />
He buys KFC or any damed fried thing and eat tons of it. We had an agreement that he stops eating early like 4 hours prior to sleep. He kept it for a while- but then he brings a chocolate cake slice daily- at home. If it is not there, then he eats sanwishes and cheese. This is what I know, he eats more outside. <br />
So the eating habit, is casuing him stomach aches DAILY, dealing with it through zantac and other stomache medicine. These in turn affect his sexual abilities. <br />
Plus, him being fat makes the sex too much effort for him (I think so).<br />
Plus, him being fat makes us having on sexual position, boring and repetitive. <br />
Oh, he drinks sodas (diet) ALL the time. <br />
Now, for example, has has an acidic stomach, he had medicine, then ate chockolate to "change the taste of his mouth". "Honey, what abt going tom to the doc for your daily stomach problems?" - "I know that the doctor will tell me to lose weight"<br />
<br />
Tell you the truth, the overweight thing could be a factor in our sexual problems. But i still think he has no libido, but he says the contrary. <br />
<br />
I get depressed day after day. And it shows over me. Which is making things worse. He told me he wants to try with me to see if the ED is fixed and that he is terrified that he will fail again. I was happy with his honesty. But he had done nothing and tried nothing. The worst thing is that i am being alienate. Sometimes i feel i don't want to have sex with him no more. He says i am over sesnsitive and over complicating things! He said to me never to expect that we could do it daily. "It is impossible". <br />
<br />
I am fed up friends. I'll try to go with him to the doc tom and see how it goes.

I think you are making the right decision...yeah...becareful...do get pregnant with his pity sex. You might start having sex more often because he wants to keep you.<br />
<br />
I would excuse the wisdom-tooth thing and the food posiening....but not for the weeks upon weeks.

I travelled with my husband the same night of our wedding away from my country, family. And I work over the internet from home. I have no friends, no community, no one to talk to excpet sneakpeaks to my family through the msn. <br />
<br />
Last night we had a fight. He told me that going to the doctor will ruin our relationship and it will be my responsibility but he agrees to do it. Which lost all its meaning for me. <br />
<br />
He told me that since the day we married, he got food poisioning, pulled the wisdom tooth (was on tranquilizers for a month and half), his bag was lost in the airport, he began studying, he- after 10 years a of professional career- is being a student again, studying his MBA. Then we went back home to my famliy for a couple of weeks, a 2 weeks vacation. <br />
<br />
He couldn't do anything sexual even when we had the house to our selves. Then we travelled back here, and he started studying again. <br />
<br />
You see all these for me are excuses. He just doens't have the desire to see my body, attend tp my feminine needs, or touch me sensually in whatever way. <br />
<br />
I don't make him horny or excited at all. And i am sure it is not me as a person. I've been ill, tired, pressured, and has helped him a couple of time for the app rent and with clothes and food, cuz his resources are tight now. But. His new job will pay him alot and this is relaxing him a lot. But though pressured, i never did things that upset him or did not fullfill any of his needsrequirmentsrequests.<br />
<br />
So yesterday was the end of his exams, we had the seroius talk. It was not good, tears, loud voice and accussations. He sees that i don't understand him at all. We decided that i should go back to my home country, he thinks I will wait for him there. Actually, i will consult with someone there and prepare myself for a divorce! <br />
<br />
On my part, i can't explain to him that he should be normal. How can you explain the importance of meat for someone who is vegiterian. How can I explain that his basic intincts are messed up. He can't feel me cuz he doesn't have a sex drive. I can not create a one for him. <br />
<br />
At the end of night, he came to me in bed crying that he doesn't want me to leave and wanting me to stay. All i said then, was i feel i am living with a roommate. He said no roommate will keep "telling" his wife how cute and how he loves her all the time. He laughed about it and called me "Roomie" to lighten up the situation.<br />
<br />
Took me dinner then movie. Ate a lot in dinner, was very tired, was cold on our way to the movies, and tired all time long, expressing it all the time and on the way back, so that i would not expect anything. <br />
<br />
Up in the appartment, he researched abt the ture movie we saw, then turned his back to me and SLEPT! Waking up occasionaly for a stomach pill as food comes back from his stomach (sorry don't know the medical term for this). <br />
<br />
What a happy a make up night. <br />
<br />
He told me he will fix things on his own. And he will dedicate me 60 days per year. "what does this mean hubbi, i don't understand?". <br />
<br />
He means giving attention to me like is sex and having fun! So i am gussing he means having sex twice a month. Oh, he told me we should also prepare for getting pregnant after 3 months. <br />
<br />
You bet! I will start my pills again. I stopped three months ago them cuz there was no sex. And with the one time we had, i used local contraceptives. <br />
<br />
He does nothave not agreed to use a condom. Who knows with the "promised rate" of twice a month, i could get pregnant and this will make things truely worse. So welcome again dearest pills.<br />
<br />
He has no passion. I will be patient, so when i leave, i will ge guilt free.<br />
<br />
Thank you for supporting me guys. If you think i am wrong in any thing. I am not appreciating his circumstances, could someone be stressed that much so as not have have sex with his new wife- he was a virgin like me. I want excuses for him. Maybe I can't see the whole picture. <br />
<br />
Sorry for the long writing. You are all I've got.

Surprised: I can identify deeply with being surprised. My wifes sexual problems surprised me too. Being religious also, I vowed to stick with it no matter what. But this has not made it any less painful. One thing that has helped us is seeking help at our church. PAstors are always there to talk us through things, and when one of us is dead wrong, the pastor confronts us about it and we are encouraged to change our ways. I think it helps. Do you have a church or faith community where someone can help? I dont think I will be able to remain faithful to my spouse without gods people helping me and i do not think you will be able to either. Just a thought. you are in my prayers.

1niceguy, today was the last day inhis exmas. I was upset, he asked if it is about the sex thing. He said: we have a long spring vacation and he has no more important things to occupy his from sex as for the last couple of months. You see, his view is that, sex comes after his stress, his study, his work, an outing, anything. <br />
I will take it further today i have to let my emotions out. Pray for me.

A friend of mine who has been married for 20 years recently went through 9 months without sex from his wife. They have been going to counseling and finally, after she dealt with some stuff totally not related to their marriage, she has become a sex machine. So if that is the case, maybe there is hope for you. If not, like someone else said, don't waste alot of your years hoping if he isn't trying to get better. If he is trying, then be patient. If he refuses to try and denies there is a problem - take it from me and get out.

I know how you feel. I try to be nice too...meanwhile planning my getaway...and how to get him into therapy.

Thank you guys. He is having an exam after one week. I'll insist about therapy- but am not sure of his response. <br />
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But, I have to try, so not to regret later. He is still being nice with me, and i've been scilent for 3 weeks now abt the subject bec he is studing for that important exam. I am laughing and helping him out and i feel like this is cheating, as i am really thinking about other things such as finding someone else, how to get out, who will I marry next, and where to work (we work at the same place) when i leave him. <br />
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Yet i am still calming and supporting him through his exams. Its pressuring me, i feel that i don't want to exert any effort, but i do any way. <br />
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I love that i can express here, i can't talk to this with anyone.

If you are religious, you will be forgiven to get out of this marriage. Life is stressful and if he has ED now, just wait until you have some real stress in your life.<br />
Sex should be a way a couple show love to relieve the stresses of the day.<br />
I say, get out now. You don't have kids. It says right in the Bible that you are to give yourselves to each other.