Some Improvements

My marriage is still sexless for the most part, but there is the occasional hand job or blow job. I still miss the fun and passion my wife and I used to share and hope that someday it all comes back before its too late. Sex has little to do with why I love my wife.....I want and enjoy sex with her because I love her. I am happy with our marriage. I couldnt ask for better or more in spite of the lack of sexual intimacy. Im just scared that this is something that we will lose as time goes helps make our relationship complete.
IndyJoe IndyJoe
41-45, M
10 Responses Aug 13, 2011

If your wife is an understanding lady, the love between you will make you go. My wife was asking me if I like having a hand job or a blow job during the days her vag* na was dry and she her libido was down. She let me watch pics on my pc late night and she was glad I let her sleep till I come to the bed. She wanted me lightly playing her breasts before I start suckling. She kissed me in her love telling she knows my love to her. Her kisses were not that passionate as when her libido is high.

Maybe it's time to hit the gym? Both of you.. And when you start to see amazing results.. The sex begins!


Easier said than done but I would try to find a time for when both of you can workout together.. Unless you are the one out if shape?

Wish you luck man..

Wow, what a difference between what you wrote in 2008 and 2011. My wife just came out as bi. It's helped our reationship except in the bedroom. She still insists she's bi, not gay, and that she still loves me. She just doesn't want to have sex with me.

Good luck, bro:)

"Hoping" for things to improve is a guaranteed no-win for you. Improved and maintained intimacy is something that has to be actively sought, striven for, and demanded. <br />
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Trust us, waiting around for it to fix itself WILL FAIL.

Modlulu and Baz are two people I consider quite wise here. And occasionally even Ron's rather blunt and often negative comments are often filled with insight ..if rather hard to digest.

I am in the same boat - feel free to read my stories as it sounds like you may be months or years behind me but on the same road...
In this case Modlulu is totally correct....if you wait may find yourself torn between wanting it to come back and not caring if it does. This is a really bad place to be for you....and likely for her too...

I found this board when I thought I wanted to fix it. I now find myself leaning the other way....I think I waited and hoped too long. Don't be me...

Quoting you here - "Im just scared that this is something that we will lose as time goes on".<br />
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Going by this, and your past, stories, that horse has bolted hasn't it ??<br />
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Tread your own path.

Hope is a really bad plan but if it is due to illness and meds then you are left in the most helpless of positions. Good luck bro.

I think she is very lucky to have you.<br />
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Keep asking for what you want. Best wishes.

But don't let it go too long. One thing I have learned, even though it was due to a very real illness once it has been gone years, it is nearly impossible to reintroduce it. Do some research & you will discover this is a VERY common problem.

Most of it is due to illness and medications (hers). Patience is all I have for this situation.