He Walked Out2 days ago my husband walked out. He spent the morning while I was at work having his mail redirected, taking me off his credit card and finding a place to stay. I got home around 2pm - we went and had lunch, chatted quite normally, he then asked me to fill in 2 job applications for him online which I did and then we both each read a book.
At around 5pm he announced the above details and said he was going somewhere local but he had been told not to tell me where as he needs space from the ongoing mental abuse - he pulled out a backpack and was about to head out the door but couldn't resist stopping first to tell me the things I needed to do to get him back. Ok, when I say 'tell me the things' he actually vaguely alluded to generalities.
I also got a call from my mother (who lives in a different country) telling me he had sent her an email early that morning about how my parents will need to support me in the next little while as I will be an emotional wreck.
The last 2 days have been the most peaceful I've had in a LONG time, interrupted only by him calling me to ask whether or not I realise how hurtful I have been and that he is almost ready to tell me to go to hell. After one call like that I no longer answer his calls for the rest of the day, I am learning to set boundaries right left and centre!
It looks like I am finally on my way out of this SM! I had already consulted a divorce lawyer so that part of the exit strategy was in place, I don't have much of a further strategy as I am financially supporting us both at the moment and can always leave the country if push comes to shove. As of yet I have not changed the locks although I have had strong advice from at least 4 people to do so, it seems overly harsh, but I have set up for my wages to go into an account that is just mine, I will keep covering the bills of course.
Having said that I can see him walking back in magnanamously forgiving me when he realises his stunt hasn't worked and that I'm actually happier and more relaxed on my own - at which point I will be at square minus one, as him leaving a second time would be highly unlikely (due to his financial situation).
He says he is doing this because he loves me.
Wish me luck.
Rallacious 36-40, F 34 Responses 2 Aug 27, 2011