The PillowI was not sure where to put this story - here? forum? blog?
Ended up here. Entertaining reading I suppose, I find it amusing.
My marriage is broken, I'm not re hashing here, read my past stories.
A strange routine has emerged regards bedtime. It's been like this for a year or more now.
She can not tolerate proximity. For years I used to reach out to her, in the day, evening and night, in the bed. She used to put pillows between us in the bed to keep me away! Now we don't go to bed at the same time time after I said I love her as the mother of my children, not as a woman. She didn't like this at all, said how do you think I feel knowing this? Unloved I said, but that is how it is. I said nothing has changed in her daily and nightly life, other than I will not 'bother' her now, and as she never approaches me then for her, her every day activities, nothing has changed. She didn't really know what to say to that, she was just pissed off for months. She said how do expect her to ever be close to me physically again? I said I don't expect nor want her too.
She comes to bed maybe 4am or so, so the children see us get up as a married couple. I kind of get that. I said I will sleep in the spare bedroom but she didn't want that. That option is gone now anyway as we have a smaller house and no spare room.
However, living this lie now is too much for me, I need to not be with her for my own dignity.
I prefer to sleep on the settee now, all night. So my wife now seems to not go to bet at all, falls asleep on the other settee, her settee, and eventually I think - I might as well go to bed, this of course allows her to come to bed at 4am to keep the lie alive.
It's about control, she needs the control, but it's being taken away from her, but she is adapting by purposefully sleeping on the settee to get me into bed so she can then come to bed to keep the lie alive. Its insanity!
So, for my own dignity I have been putting the pillows between us to make the point that I don't want her there is clear, as she used to do to me on occasion in the past.
I do not wish to share a marital bed with a woman who does not want me - pretty simple.
Recently I have woken up with the pillows on the floor by my side of the bed. She has thrown them out when she comes to bed I imagine, but then she sleeps as far away as possible, back turned. We have a super king bed - massive!
I'm a little pissed off with this in truth, I want to be apart from her, now she removes my symbol from between us.
It has been 2 weeks now, she has said nothing! Not asked why suddenly i barricade her away! But she knows it's done.
Yes it's crazy
Yes, she is crazy
Yes I'm leaving