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Sigh

im only 13-15 and i cut


people think my life is so great im a pretty 'fake' (to me) all ways over happy giggle love everything and just LOVE life


as u can see i dont


my dad will hit me(numerious) times and just always yell yell yell
i have no love only they care is that i get good grades they dont care how I feel no just there pride and if i get on time even if i was dieing they never ask r u ok or how was your day no just what did u do trouble?! or what did u get on the test no good job or least u tried
i have no one to rely on or talk and it eats me alive at home

there are TONS of storys of him but im just doing 2 short ones


my mom wanted in my room to get a book but i was changing and said no wait
then i walked over when i was done to comb my hair then my dad SCREAMED to open the door
why did i????????

then he grabed my sholders like no tommorw and dragged me down the stairs he said i hate you and i blacked out the rest but then he PUNCHED both of my arms(i was in 5th grade) so frikin hard and i had brusises for 2 weeks no joke
and he spanked me and all that ****


that was short to me there are worse but i just blank it out its the best to me


and another time i yelled ok to my mom then walked into my garage to get my dog food and he barged down the stairs and grasped my sholder/neck place and then it sliped and he was choking me for around 30 sec and it was hard.

its just taking me so much engery to rite this im just really just so meantally drained

i just started to cut 4 days ago
i tried to in 5th grade but i chickend out i only used a pencil and it did nothing

i use a shavors blade(reomend)
i just feel so usless and this is the only thing that show that IM in power my parents think i could never turn this they just think they can just only push and push, and i would never blow, well there WRONG

what im really scared of is people finding out well its pretty close to fall/winter so long sleeve will be in but i have 14 scars and how do i hide? i dress kinda of well reaviling so its odd to people if i EVER where sleeves even if it is snowing so im kinda stuck (HELP WANTED)



i feel so stupid right now a reallly young kid is cutting over this type of **** wow
coolcas21 coolcas21 13-15, F 7 Responses Sep 18, 2011

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My son did the cutting as well. He explained that he had no way to get the anger/hurt/bad feelings out other than cutting. It sounds as if you feel something like that as well. You don't have an escape valve for your feelings. Cutting doesn't help long term as it is addictive and gets to be where you need more and more just to get the same relief. My son ended up with stitches from accidentally cutting far too deep, he'll have a scar forever even though he no longer cuts. We never abused him the way you are abused, he had other issues that he could not express, but finding another way to get your bad feelings out is necessary. You CAN get a good neutral person, a counselor, to listen to you and suggest- without judging- ways to help you. But you need to ask. Please talk to a school counselor or someone who will listen. Hugs to you.

hey thanks all u guys<br />
<br />
but i could neverpersonallu know just to hard adn a school conuler well she aint that good and dosnet like me so thats out of the question....

Talk to someone. A school counselor. An aunt. You need help. <br />
I know how the pain can drive you to cutting.<br />
You've just started. Get help before it's too late. <br />
Cutting is not an answer. <br />
You were strong enough to write here. Please reach out to someone.

Stay strong. <br />
<br />
Stop cutting yourself. We know how it feels to dig a hole deeper and deeper until we nearly drown.

Hey,<br />
dont feel stupid because alot of people go through this. its all a matter of being strong. in other words, you can either dwell or just take this as a life obstacle that you will eventually pass. Trust me, things get better. I believe everyone is put on this earth for a reason and you are no different. I know it may be hard to deal with but just think in a few years you will be of age to move out into your own appartment and live life happy without your dad. its always beter when you can talk about these things to someone. i know you dont know me but if you ever need anyone to talk to when you feel like you need to cut, you can always just get on here and message me. remember you are not alone and if you think things through, you can get very far in life. <br />
<br />
be positive and take care of yourself.

OMG MESS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YA I CUT NOT MARRIED!

sorry u had to read this...