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Loneliness Is So Harsh

There are times when I feel so lonely that it feel like my soul is bleeding.  I miss romance and a woman's perfume and out to dinner and out for breakfast and midnight plans and holding hands.  There is nothing on earth that can replace a sweetheart and to be without one though married is kind of a cruel joke.  The weekends are the hardest.  At least there is good conversation at work.  Monday looks real good today.
tom
fairwinds3 fairwinds3 56-60, M 21 Responses Oct 1, 2011

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I agree...would love to feel some romance, to feel special to someone, to hold on hands and smile...maybe even find some laughter. It's very difficult when you feel you have tons to share with someone else and no one to give it to.

Oh please go find happiness. Life is too short

Some people believe in full on commitment in marriage .. till death do us part. Is it idealistic? Is it right for everyone? It is not for me to judge. I guess everyone has to reach into their own heart and beliefs to decide what is right them them.

Your first line gives away that you are in fact judging. That's fine, you're entitled to judge, just don't do it and then hide behind "it's not for me to judge". Some people believe in "love and cherish". Is that not equal to "in sickness and in health"? If you chose not to love and cherish your mate, you should be prepared for the consequences of breaking your vows. If you are the one who isn't being loved or cherished, you need to recognize that your spouse has voided your contract. You don't get to cherry pick which vows are important and which ones can be disregarded. I think you'll find that many of these people have exhibited levels of commitment that are without equal, and simply because a union ends in divorce should not be considered evidence of a lack of commitment of any one party. Consider this a friendly shot across the bow, and in future tread carefully when you are compelled to question the commitment of those that are considering or have divorced.

I understand. Sometimes the considerations are financial, especially in these times.

Yes, your words echo my feelings. I have nothing to add to the comments above. Raising a glass of vinegared wine to us.

Although my life is not void of physical relations (i get knocked around a bid when the mood hits him) but the sweetheart thing really hit home. That is what I have been wanting all my life. Someone who just wants to be with me. Who enjoys my company and wants to hang out with me. The thought of my man thinking about me and wanting to romance me with his time. That is just more than I could dream of. Maybe you should find someone who loves you like that. Maybe I should do the same. Then we would be hanging out with our loves...dreading Monday morning, and not baring our souls for comfort.

Loneliness can be soul shattering. Even though getting out of a marriage is not easy, if it means saving your self then you may want to go this route. I have been in this situation for the past several years and have finally decided to take action and proceed with getting a divorce. Now that the decision is made, I have a sense of calm. I think you may have the same sense of calmness and peace if you take action.

@zorbas -maybe, like me, it's not his first marriage?

Very cruel. It sucks to sleep next to someone you never touch or talk to.

The only good thing in my life right now is my sailboat. Other than that, life sucks. <br />
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I feel for you, Fair Winds. I'm in the same "boat".

So sad for you. I know what you mean. It is a hard way to live!

For years I have looked forward to Mondays so I could have a social life, and I have been a full time homemaker. See, my girlfriends were always available during the week. H played golf all weekend, and no real interest in going out. I should have paid more attention to this feeling that I looked forward to Mondays so much. Pay attention to that. It is telling you something important.

This is very sad fairwinds. Surely you don't have to stay in this miserable situation?

Although I do understand many of your feelings I find it hard to hear of a man your age that finds himself in this precarious position. This cannot be an over not realization and why you did not take action years before this is beyond my comprehension. You are right that loneliness is harsh but only for those who cannot in their reverie find comfort of a life spent to its fullest. My memories of actions taken warm me as my years pass and Even today continue to take action to sustain every moment when and wherever I can.<br />
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I wish you well and there may still time for you to take action and grasp hold of a life away from the loneliness you bespeak of of here.

I know why he hasn't taken action. "Maybe things will turn around" "I married him/her for better or worse" or "Well, it's better than being alone." I know because I remained that way for well over a decade with a refuser... who kept backing away and refusing to share life more and more and more.

I think back to how it was that I wasted over a decade of my life just waiting for.... anything... that might give me happiness - happiness achieved with another person or even the happiness of solitude.

Fortunately, I no longer live in a sexless marriage. My refuser-spouse dumped me after I stopped providing what he did want in life and to maintain his lifestyle. Then, I married someone who does not give me a sexless marriage - or lack of attention through life - or loneliness. :) I just wish I'd have done it a decade earlier!

If you can walk away do so---Your wife is showing you how much she can connect with you and showing you affection. Living a lonely life is not worth staying in a marriage, there are options, take one.

Grasp the nettle and choose to leave. From your age group it would seem unlikely that you have dependent children. You CAN start a new life for yourself and find the things you long for - or you can condemn yourself to thirty plus more years of the same . . . . .

By the by, it's good to see another seafarer on here. A mariner as it were.

I,too look forward for Mondays.so I can talk to someone, at leas t ! Weekends are scary to me.

Monday should be the day you call a divorce lawyer. Then it will look even better.

I was thinking that but i think Tom is staying with his wife to take care of her through her illness. Part of that better or worse thing. .. hmmmmm

Me too:-(

I agree totally with ur sentiments.