Long Lost Love Reunited
my story goes like this... 15 years ago, I met the love of my life, looking back now that is. it was summer of 1994, his sister and I were very good friends, we lived right next door to each other, he, J will be his name, was away and was returning home... we met, we liked each other instantly and it wasn't until early winter that we decided to start dating. throughout the next 4 years, J and I became high school sweethearts, the relationship wasn't the greatest as we were young and immature, so it was our senior year that I decided to call of the relationship, I realize that I had a whole life ahead of me...we broke up, for the next few years we kept close contact, strictly friends, although he always reminded me he wasn't over me and that one day he would have me back, so with that said I just knew we needed to stop talking completely so we can both move on, we didn't talk for about a year, It wasn't until July 2002 that I saw J again, he was at a bar with some old friends, we immediately kicked it off, we talked and update each other, both still single no children and he stated he was leaving out of the state to start a new fresh start and this was his last night here. I remember thinking to myself, it just isn't meant to be. Fast forward a few month later, I met a wonderful man, loving, caring man! someone I thought could erase this old flame out of my life and he did, or so I thought. 6 months into my relationship I get a call at work, to my surprise it was J... he was settled in with a girl in a new state and had had a dream about me and wanted to see how I was doing, I told him how in love I was with this new man and he express the same for his current gf. we talked here and there for the next year and eventually lost contact. Summer of 2005 he got my number from his sister and decided to call me, again we updated each other and talked and talked...I remember feeling so happy the times I would hear his voice, but thought nothing more of it then a friendship, he congratulated me on being married, I got married Sep 2004... and how happy he truly was for me. He then told me about his life and how he was about to have a baby, off coarse I felt nothing but sincere happiness for him... again we talked and talked here and there for another few months and eventually lost contact once again. it was my daughters 3rd birthday (4 years since I last spoke to J) that he again called me, same number, kicked it off once again, talked and talked and it was with great pleasure from both ends of how lucky we were to be friends..however it was short ended as we lost contact yet again...earlier this year March 2011 he contacted me via FB, we kicked it off again and this time we promised we would keep in better contact as we hated not speaking to each other for so long, he was not married (which I knew already via his sister) and also another child, a boy. we have talked and talked since then, about once a week if not more... I was taking a vacation with some girlfriends of mines, which he knew since we all went to school together. He asked if we could meet up since we had not seen each other in so long, so we made it a point to see each other, especially since I was near him. we met up one Saturday night at a local bar in the big city, my heart has never beat so rapidly in life...it was the craziest feeling i've ever felt..immediately we hug, longest hugged i've ever given anyone.. I know he felt the same. we talked all night, a lot of drinking was involved and one thing lead to another we ended up sleeping together, I was NOT drunk and neither was he, we were fully aware of what we were doing. the next morning I can home from my trip, I had not remorse...not guilt in me..all I kept thinking was that I needed to see him again. later on that afternoon he called me and express exactly what I was feeling, to make matters worse, he was coming into town in a few weeks to see his brother and sister. I was excited as I could ever be. we met up once again this time it was like we knew what we meeting up to do, it felt so real, felt like love again, felt like I was the young girl and he was the young boy I fell in love with... we both know that there is definitely something deep between us and also know that neither one of us want to leave our families, since we both have young children. I'm so lost and hurt and know that I must end this.. but part of me does not want to. I've been ignoring his calls and emails, but the urge to call him is in my heart...what should I do?