A New York Times Article On Sexless Marriage

i experienced the most wonderful passion with a man who lives in a sexless marriage--and he chooses to stay with her. Sometimes the attachment and the thought of loosing that attachment--however bad it might be--is too overwhelming for those in a SM to consider. So he chose the comfort of his passionless attachment, and I am still in shock even though I understand the logic behind his choice.

I become more convinced every day that Sexless Marriage is a national epidemic...

This story was published on my 20th wedding anniversary....How approrpiate.

I agree on the comment about intimacy. If we were truly intimate, then I could deal with the lack of sex. However, were we truly intimately involved with one another on an emotional level, he would find ways to express it other than penetration.

A comment on that article written by Caroline Majors is a climpse into asexual person's soul:

"For me personally? Music does it most, but food is a very close second, if not a tie (just try a nearly pure, dark, bittersweet, 70 percent or higher chocolate sometime — WOW). Sex is just fine (either with my partner or solo), but it doesn’t feel as vital personally as the other two do."

......I just hope she didn't marry some poor guy.

I found the comments after the story fascinating. I must have read 30 of them, but the one which really hit close to home was the one which said, "I think I would have tolerated lack of sex (say for medical reasons) had there been true, deep intimacy".



THAT is what killed my love for my former husband. It wasn't simply because he refused have sex with me; it was because he didn't care to maintain any sort of sexual intimacy we once had. He became more interested in re-reading books about the great pyramids than receiving ******** from his wife, not to mention giving his wife any sexual pleasures. Add to that about 10 monthly magazine subscriptions and a constant need for new CDs and DVDs and that tells you where sexual intimacy with his wife placed on his priority list.



I'm now with a loving man who's got his priorities straight. And guess what? He reads books, he watches films, he listens to music and even makes music. The difference is that sexual intimacy is at the top of his priorties. Mine, too.



Thank you for the article.

The article said 15% of married couples have not had sex in the last six months.



In Japan, about 1/3 of married couples in their 30s have not had sex with their spouse in over a year. It's a big problem in Japan.