Alone ...but Together
I was 27 when I met my future husband . Within one year we were married. We had two children together , so it was entirely with out sex. We had been married 16 years but half of that marriage was without intimacy. I think the stresses we had going on in our life definitely had an effect on it going down the tubes. We were both stressed in our work , and we were busy finding activities for our girls then (who were younger) and taxiing them around. I think that as well, we started to drift apart from each other to fulfill our own needs. We slept together for a while but didnt have any sex or even touching..Then we started sleeping apart...I didnt want to sleep apart or do without closeness or sex but,,, my ex-husband wasn't interested at all. I don't know what happened or why he changed because our intimacy used to be really good and we had lots of touching , hugging, cuddling and kissing...but..I asked him many times if he wanted to talk about it and what might be able to be done. but he just totally clammed up.. The more I asked him the more tight-lipped he became. I was so alone and frustrated even though we were otherwise okay in our marriage..I suggested that we go for marriage counselling(I was already going for counselling on my own) but he just got upset and frustrated when I suggested this and said he didnt need any help...So this went on for along time... but I was so tired of being alone.. I told him I was going to move out and he said... if you do this dont expect to come back and that was it.. I am still going for counselling and am feeling better about myself and finding my direction again but it has taken a long time.....I know that I am a worthwhile person on my own and am working daily on finding my self, being gentle to myself, and daily discovering the value in me that goes beyond how much I bring in in my paycheck. I have just recently started going to a divorce support group and although it is hard to talk about stuff I have kept inside for so long when I share these things in this safe, supportive environment I start to work through these things, not alone.. but together.. I feel much better... and am thankful for these wonderful, caring, supportive people.