"Waiting" to Live In a Sexless Marriage
I'm not even married yet, but I'm already tired of crying over the rejection and plummeting self esteem. I searched "support for sexless marriage" this am, because I was going to have yet another talk with my fiance about our sexual relationship. Then I remember he's got a golf tournament today So, it will be at least 12 hours (before I want to distract him), but I'm needing to vent now. Please excuse typos.
I'm 25. He's 39. We got engaged after 3 years of dating and are planning to marry in December. I love him. He loves me. Couldn't live without each other. But I'm so frustrated. I'm tired of the humiliating rejection.
He is romantic, thoughtful, and caring. That makes it even harder that he won't prioritize our sex life. I do think that it is an issue of priorities. We've got all the scapegoats here: weight gain (him and me), stress (we are finally moving out of my grandfather's home after being displaced by a hurricane and we're starting a new business), smoking, and excessive alcohol.
But doesn't it make it sting a little bit more that he knows I'm in pain and won't make the effort (as I see it) to change?
I hear and read advice for "frigid" women that, for various reasons, you should be willing to have sex whenever your partner wants it. Well, obvously he isn't going to make that effort, and to be honest, I'm getting bitter. I used to be waiting like a puppy dog, but things are getting more and more complicated the longer we don't have sex.
I'm almost afraid to ask, "So, am I crazy to get married?"
Has anyone ever heard of the idea of scheduling sex? Doesn't that sound like it came from someone who is having sex on a normal basis anyway? I'm still thinking of trying it.
Feedback would be greatly appreciated.