Brick WallMy husband wants a best pal to run with, not a wife. He gets upset at divorce,he doesn't want me to leave. We each hang off the edge of our side of the bed.
If I try to cuddle, his back hurts. (But he spends all day doing anything and everything and it doesn't bother him.) If I wanted to play in bed, he was tired. Sex was rare over the years and almost nonexistant before his medical issues. Then a year and a half ago, he no longer wanted it at all. I have done all the mentalbashings.. he isn't attracted to me, he doesn't like me, I'm not doing something right, etc....Try to discuss any of this, it isn't true and makes more excuses.
He does take care of my car and car expenses, keeps the house repaired, and helps me with my mother. He helps do housework and cooking, and we share our daughters expenses. We have separate checking and savings accounts, and do not share our financial info with each other.
In three years, our daughter turns 18, we will sell the house and go our separate ways.He is moving up north, I refuse to go. He is not dumping me in the middle of nowhere to to amuse myself while he finds more buddies to run with while the little lady sits at home.
I have finally hit a brick wall, I can't have an affair, I miss affection, cuddling, sex, romance and just being with a male who wants me. Depression is setting in and I am losing weight I cannot afford to lose. I am thinking about counseling for me, why I am in this situation. I am sitting here tired, ready to cry, unclear what direction to take. I hate confusion, he closes up when I try to talk about this marriage. How can he be content and I am miserable?! I am 48 and he is 46. Am I expecting too much? Do men lose this much sex drive at this age? I know I see people in their 70's hugging and kissing, it doesn't take much energy to show a little affection. I do know it takes two people to have a relationship, and at this point, neither of us is involved with the other. I do see other people living like this happily, is it wrong for me to want more?
I realize I am no longer angry and I want my anger back. It makes it easier to move forward and become proactive about my life. I have been angry for years, and when I make the decision to leave, I now get upset and depressed. Hubby never even listened or took me serious when I said we are done. I am going to be made to feel very guilty and that doesn't sit well with me. Does this ever end?
moondancelady 46-50, F 70 Responses 32 Jan 24, 2012