Are You Mature Enough To Post A Story On Iliasm?

I know I've only been posting a couple days now, but I thought I could ease some friction around here by laying some ground rules that hopefully you, dear fellow ILIASM readers, will be comfortable with - please feel free to make up & post your own!

So, before posting on ILIASM (or anywhere really), why not ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is my first or middle name Pollyanna?
2. Can I handle a reality wherein others may want to post comments of their experiences, even if they are not exactly the same as my experience?
3.(a) If the answer to #2 is no, can I handle their comments in a mature fashion and respond with helpful ideas, or will I go batshit insane and accuse them of witchcraft and sorcery and all sorts of evil intent?
3.(b) Will I randomly respond to commenters who choose to expose their vulnerabilities on my posts by belittling their experiences, passing judgment on their lives, and destroying their reputations?
4. Will I handle comments that are in any way critical of any of my batshit insane rantings by immediately deleting all traces of said comments?
5. Once the alcohol/drugs/manic episodes wear off, will I then go back and delete my batshit insane rants and replace them with innane bland nothing comments?
6. When posting, can I stick to topics relevant to ILIASM (i.e., "SEXLESS MARRIAGE"), or will I digress into completely off topics that make me feel better by masking my complete inability to grasp the reality of my situation and that may be better posted to "oh you'll love how adorbs my little rugrats are oooowoooo"?
7. Will I threaten to leave ILIASM over other people placing comments about their life experiences on my stories, but then hang around looking for sympathy in the most passive-aggressive manner possible?

It's my humble opinion that answering incorrectly to any of the above may indicate that you are NOT mature enough to be posting on ILIASM.

In any case, I have now grown a thick enough skin to be amused rather than upset by these incidents in regards to myself, but I am rather upset that they may have a negative impact on others wanting to share their experiences and provide advice.

Well, till next time! -Z
zsuzsilowinger zsuzsilowinger
36-40, F
17 Responses Feb 2, 2012

Well written! Adult responses and attitudes need to be in place here.

Aha now i have figured out the who and the what.<br />
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Hmmm.... variety is the spice of life but yeah sometimes there is too much choice.

Geez you dont log on for a few days and miss all the action.<br />
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Sometimes we just need to breathe and fill in our time with something else for a few days.<br />
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I mean it is only an online forum, but it always amazes me how touchy we all get [me included] about corresponding with people we may never meet. Silly really.

Well, being sexless can make one a tad cranky!

TOUCHY??? MOI??? How dare you !

I loved your story Zsu! Because the self same posters give me the *****!!<br />
I certainly do NOT expect everyone to think like me, to agree with me or to want to follow my suggestions.<br />
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But I contribute to ILIASM in the hope that it will be of some use to some one somewhere. And if a poster finds that my information is of no value to them,they are totally fine to ignore it. . . <br />
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But to carry on with great huffiness, or rudeness, or anger is to imply (to me) that my posts are valueless. And that is both insulting and untrue.<br />
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Baz and I sometimes look at each other with wry grins and say:<br />
"Not much doubt why THAT one is in a sexless marriage, huh?!!"<br />
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We may well be off target, but anyone who acts selfishly, rudely, insanely is unlikely to be a highly attractive sexual partner and a great candidate for an intimate, loving and respectful relationship IMO!!

Beautifully put, thanks.<br />
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The only things that have me going some - and not that much - are posters that:<br />
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a) believe at some level they are right, that do not question that presumption;<br />
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b) wish to dismiss other people's contributions (particularly whilst complaining that their own posts are being drowned out).<br />
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I think the only reason I'd respond is that I don't want other people infected with that mindset, and wish to offer a counter-example.

Good rules! I think I can follow them.

I keep things simple if I can. I have a hammer here and if I get too pissed off I hit something with it. <br />
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Did you know you can get an armful of used keyboards from the computer recycling place for about $10? ;=)

The only thing necessary for evil refusers to triumph on the internet is for suckers like us to continue paying them attention. <br />
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Ignore the trolls and they will go away.

Baz and SF, you surely don't deserve to be targets.

Okay.. Since I was (unfortunately) involved in (one of many possible) the cat fights with said member. I did find this amusing. Actually hilarious. I'm glad to see that the insanity of it all has brightened your day. I feel like this would make a beautiful flow chart. I was a lurker for a long time before I jumped into the group. I enjoy the truthfulness of it all at ILIASM - even when it is hard to stomach. Reading the comments is different than when they're hurled at you. But maybe how you deal with it is a good predictor of where you are in the path of your life. If someone is unable to absorb the honest perspectives of others, while maintaining their own identify and critical reasoning, then I think they are probably not able to even be honest with themselves. I am glad that most of the participants are here to help look at the hard facts and support eachother in being true to themselves. This group could easily turn into one giant pity party, but instead is a dose of reality. You don't have to agree with someone in order to use their thoughts to help you understand yourself. Maybe it's pessimistic here, but I'll gladly take pessimism over delusion. I think that some people just aren't ready to deal with reality - and may never be ready for it. I had a long day of studying. And I'm tired, but I'm thankful for ILIASM because it helps ground me. The strength of the people here is truly inspiring. And the humor's pretty great too.

I just had to say awesome post - thank you :) 'Lurkers" need love too - thank you for the smile :)

Ahhh. Yes, I have noticed those things from that person. Well, hard to miss really. ;-)

Thanks for all your advice/suggestions.<br />
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For those not in the know, I was commenting specifically to the antics if one poster who did all the above to various commenters just today, who shall not be named but whose initials are BT. For the past week I have seen this happening in her posts, and finalky today I spoke up and called her on it, which led to various more antics, including her posting "sorry too busy getting laid", etc.<br />
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Now I am ashamed I took the bait, and I will henceforth attempt to ignore said troll's posts. <br />
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This story was my attempt to add some humour to the situation.<br />
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I realize she is dealing with some pretty strong demons,ut its not my problem.<br />
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Apologies to anyone else who mistake this as an attack on them.

Phew! It sounded like you were talking about me!!!

Pain is corrosive, that's for sure.

ha ha Ron, didn't know your name was Pollyanna ;) no you are the opposite...

LOL! sheesh! I post a lot of **** on here I am sure the posters do not want to hear. I have been banned from posting on their stories...but you know what? i don't care. It doesnt hurt my feelings. I am brutally honest at times and if people don't want to read my rantings...i don't care. Don't take any of it personally. we are just a bunch of sexless anonymites..(itsmy word, i just invented it! anonymites (TM))

1 More Response

Most of the time I don't care about all of the drama that goes on around here, but once in a while it'd be fun to know what the hell is going on.


MsZ,<br />
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it is true that the odd post comes up in here that seems to have its' origins in the mentality of the facile vicarious world of facebook where peoples otherwise drab world is painted as wildly exciting and filled with earth shattering drama.<br />
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Comment deleters are not one of my favourite things either. And revisionists - who alter past comments are a damn pox.<br />
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But, it cost me nuthin' to join this group, so I ain't complaining about the price of admission.<br />
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And, to the chick who keeps sending me inane pm's - give it a rest will you, or I might have to go against my avowed policy of not blocking anyone.<br />
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Tread your own path.

WFT? Go smoke another rock.

Good to see your blurry self back. Are you trying to catch the attention of trolls again?

doing my own research...the trolls havent hit


Well if they show up, it wasn't because I tipped them off. I don't hang out with trolls anymore, they were slowing me down.

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Nice to hear that you understand people's take on things is different. We all cant be the same. Some of us roll over and get walked on others get up and fight. Either way there is always going to be people that disagree with us.<br />
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The only decision that matters is yours. We can only post our opoinion and how we would deal with the situation.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

yes, I should be more sympathetic... somehow I just can no longer stomach bullsh*t, especially here where we are all so vulnerable. Skin still not thick enough!!! ;)

Dont worry too much about it. I recently copped an earful by happiernow because i gave advice to a poor man who had not had sex with his wife for 20 years.

Apparantly she took offence at me telling him to cut her off financially and relefate her to Room Mate Status. She called me a hard ***. Well thats my opoinion. What is this bloke meant to do continue being nice to a refuser who has not had sex with him for 20 years, and killed of his self esteem?

We are all different. If some people dont like what we post they can either ignore it or leave the group.

Stay Strong