Jesus What Have I Done

No, it was the beginning of nothing. We are still divorcing, and yes we talked, we cried, we went to counseling, we went on dates, we did everything. Nothing changes in a sexless marriage. And all the platitudes about saving yourself and what's really important and it will all work out if you are in love...it all crashes and burns here, because baby, you have just wandered into hell and you better have a good look around.

Maybe you guys were never in love in the beginning

Lets say you were to have sex with her again, it probably wouldn't change a thing

how long you guys married for?

LOL. If I am atheist I never was a believer in the first place. Sunday was our 9th anniversary. And sex or not, you are right, it is too late. You will find a common thread in these stories where the refuser's victim stops asking. That's pretty much the end.

Well again its a reflection of this society because people don't understand marriage or the commitments to it. Divorce is the norm here...Too bad!

You situation may not necessarily be my situation....because I've seen marriages last long and persons were genuinely happy in it. To each their own I guess. Good luck!

I'll just say this and agree we see this differently: If you think people on the verge of divorce are there because they lack commitment, again, read these stories. Years, even decades, of trying everything often go before the painful decision to end a marriage...which, by the way, is not the easy way out. Change is the hard path.

And you have seen happy marriages, and so have I. But it is a statistical fact that the majority of marriages are unhappy. 50% divorce, and many who stay together are unhappy.50% plus many = a majority. Are they all too flippant when it comes to commitment? Are they all just too stubborn to communicate? I doubt it. Most people just pick the wrong person or shouldn't get married at all. Everyone thinks they will be the ones to beat the odds. Well, I'll say it too, good luck, yes with a touch of sarcasm because quite frankly you'll need it, but really, I wouldn't wish an unhappy marriage on my worst enemy.

I agree with you 100% when you say "Most people just pick the wrong person or shouldn't get married at all" because most people do and marry for the wrong reason or for status purposes. That's why I'm single and enjoying my youth, not tied to anyone...if destiny chooses that I'd be with someone, then so be it...but I'm not going out my way to find someone..no way! Guys are my age are ********, and very disrespectful towards women..why waste my time? Being single is the best thing for me. I don't need luck because I don't plan to marry anyone in this society; people take others for granted too often 2) I'm not marrying someone unless he enhances my the quality of my existence or that I feel can I can be with him all my life!

and why do you care? why? Odd...

I'm glad you're in this discussion because it might help you avoid some decisions that could have catastrophic consequences.

Thanks ! :)

I think I worded it like I expected sex for a box of chocolates. Actually the only reason I got them was so as not to hurt her feelings by not getting them. When she was touched, there was a moment when in days of old might have led to further delights. But it didn't. The chocolate weren't supposed to lead to sex. But once upon a time a moment like that would have.

Hi V! It never occurred to me that you would have expected. You strike me as more magnanimous character than that. But, the thought struck me, not for the first time, how someone's thinking MIGHT get warped on top of the reality. If someone did get a quick pity or reward **** that 'coincided' with handing over a box of chocolates or flowers or whatever, would the thought ever fleetingly cross their mind, "Have I just 'bought' this? What MIGHT I get for a bigger or better box of chocolates? I don't think I like this thought." Maybe sounds crazy I know but crazier thoughts than that can cross all our minds at times. As Baz says, you are treading your own path. You sounds as if you at least roughly know how you want to handle things and will do what you need and want to do when you do. Stay cool.

Was a time when I would have taken a pity ****, a reward ****, a sympathy ****, a fill in the blank ****. I just don't want to know what sex feels like again for two days then go back to this. But hey, isn't there always some unspoken hope for demonstrative gratitude when a guy give a girl flowers?

I mean a guy and a girl in a normal situation of course.

Yes, redefine success in terms of things you influence, otherwise you're at the caprice of crazy.

sending you a virtual box of chocolate....

Thanks!

No, chocolate is toxic to dogs. No chocolate for the pooch. Ever.

The dog that lives here must be a toxic time bomb. He loves it !!

He may love it, but it is seriously detrimental to their health. Google "dogs and chocolate" to learn more.

Carob = good. Chocolate = dead dog.

See above, or below, depending how you have it sorted.