Something Has Happened To Me - I'm Acting DifferentlyI'm not being very nice to my husband lately. I avoid spending time with him. If he raises his voice or gets the least bit argumentative I leave the room . If he starts cursing and swearing about something I get real quiet and leave the room abruptly. I don't help him or support him.
When he wants to do something - (or when he wants me to do something for him) I either blow him off or begrudgingly do his laundry or run his errands or pick up something he wants at the store. I don't always make his lunch to take to work and I only make him supper if I feel like eating something. I don't want to sit and talk to him or listen to him while he talks. I don't want to sit beside him and watch reruns of stupid cartoon TV shows . I don't think his jokes are funny. I am always busy. I don't have any patience for him.
I no longer care about what his interests and hobbies are. I don't want to spend time going places that he wants to go. I hate his mother because i don't visit her and listen to her whining and complaining about how hard her life is.
I don 't spend my weekends and my days off work cleaning the house , picking up his mess and catering to his every whim, I don't stop what I am doing to listen to his rants about how unfair the world is . I don't stop on my way out the door to read a newspaper article that makes him angry just so that I can understand why he is vocal about the injustices of life. I won"t change my plans to accommodate him. I am inflexible. I don't care about him anymore and you know something - HE'S RIGHT.
August 1977 we met - September 1984 we got married. November 1986 we bought the plans for the house we built. In September 1987 we had a child. 7 years dating - almost 28 married. Why wouldn't I be happy to have such a great guy.
Last time we had a sexual intercourse was 1987 . We could have it back again if I lost weight and became attractive again. He just doesn't understand what's going on. The last time I initiated any affection for him a couple of summers back he pushed me away and told me not to do that. I should leave him alone.
Thanks to this site I have learned that I am not a freak - I have normal needs and desires. I need love and affection and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't have to hurt or sacrifice myself to make someone want me. I am worth more than that.
So I have a plan, I am getting things together to start over. I am putting my needs ahead of his wants. That might make me selfish in someones eyes. That might make me difficult and unkind. That might make me intolerant but it also makes me smart enough to know when I have a lost cause. My regret is that it took so long to see it.
Check list is ready and the countdown to departure date has begun .