Still can't believe this happened.!!Yesterday, a chance to fulfill a dream of lifetime dropped into my lap. But, I backed out last minute. I am happy I did the 'right' thing. 'Right' to me is 'no guilty baggage'. But I was so not ready for this, it's all sinking in NOW. I can't believe I said NO to getting intimate with the first love of my life. I fell for him in my teens and it took almost a decade to get over this guy. He doesnot know anything about this though. Thats another story. But I am feeling a frenzy on emotions right now. I can't believe I turned this opportunity down. He said he wanted me, and physically pulled me towards him. (but like I said I backed out) I don't remember Mr.excuses doing anything like that EVER. I feel pissed for backing out, elated knowing I was wanted that way (by This guy is another level of euphoria), relieved cuz otherwise I couldn't possibly give a hundered percent to working on this marriage then. But WTH.!!
No. 1 - I turned down sex, a possible affair.
No. 2 - With him.!!
Damn it. What did I do.?!