In Love Without Love Making

there is als a book called 'Getting it on.." which is awesome. Lots of how to stuff. Don't forget personal gratification if all else fails. and sex therapy. so much to learn and so little time.

Paul, I share your pain and hope for a better resolution for you in the future. My wife is not in menopause yet as I know. However, she has limited our sexual activity to once a week and prefers no more than 10 minutes. It is frustrating but I have learned to cope. Like another person commented here, I'm only 45 but don't want to spend another 25 years in a sexless marriage. My youngest son has about 12 years to go before he is 18. A long time I know but I figure that I will hang in there until he gets a little older. When you think about it, women fare a lot better than men in these situations when it comes to divorce. They generally get the house and other material possessions that you worked so hard to provide. You get child support payments and left broke in many cases. Meanwhile, she may remarry or find some other guy and he enjoys the fruits of your labor.

tell her to use her mouth and hands

She is offering you all bullshi..t excuses. And whats worse is you believe them. Given that she is on Social Chat Sites, i would say there is a good chance she has discovered somebody. Start to investigate this in a quite way without letting on.



If you support her financially its time to cut her off just like she has cut you off from intimacy.



Bottom line is she is playing you. Draw up the bill for her actions present it to her and demand she pay up in full.



Stay Strong & Good Luck

Your marriage is done.



Your missus is happy enough to continue on in a co-habitation set up, where she gets the perks of marriage without any of the obligations - and you ain't so happy at the prospect of another 3 decades of it.



If you had proper legal advice, and knew how a divorce would shake out in your jurisdiction, you'd have a viable alternative.



Then, it would come down to a matter of choice. Stay in guaranteed misery - or get out and have another crack at living your authentic life.



Choice is a *****. But no-one gets a pass on it.



(If it is of any relevance to you, I got out at 57. Best choice I ever made, albeit painful and costly).



Tread your own path

Going thru divorce right now... working with mediator so we're trying to avoid court & lawyer fees. Decided that I'm only 50 and living another 25+ years w/o sex isn't my idea of a fulfilling life... Besides living with a hoarder, and other finanical issues. She even bring home junk mail from others from post office..."I'm going to just look thru them" and still piled up a year later.....



At least for me, hard to be close to someone unless I get laid at least weekly. Someday I'm due to retire, then lots of free time!!! I've read that if your healthy you can even have sex into your 80-90.. (ick! a bad visual right now, but guess if you're that old and banging you won't look like buffed model either!! :)

That's unacceptable in my book...I can sympathize w/you...I am currently practicing what I have read in the book Intimacy & Desire by Snarch...Take back control of your self...no one should have to live under the premise of a SM...a marriage is exclusive, but mutually understanding...anything else is a violation of the marriage

Well, technically, even without menopause, it is entirely possible for someone to feel they have had quite enough for a lifetime. Some people do feel sex is boring and overrated, at least after some age. The legitimacy of these stands is not in question here. The legitimacy of holding you captive is.

I am in a similar situation and the answers to your question has opened my eyes a little more. In spite of this, old habits die hard. Not sure that there is anything easy about this situation. Best of luck to you.

It sounds like at the very least she is excited by social contact, at the social sites perhaps, of some kind.

Get a divorce. It is now or later. She does not love you any more. You know it.



When her nets snag the next loser, she will dump you in a heartbeat.







Stop linking this problem with her menopause. Menopause has nothing to do with your problem.

There is no legitimate physical reason older women can not enjoy sex, "no emotions down there" is BS! Older women enjoy and have sex all the time. If she is dressing like that, in a sexy style, then my guess is that sexuality exists for her someplace, maybe not at home. Does she have a boyfriend?