So I just found out that one of my friends has been having the same issue as me, but in reverse. I had no clue. His wife is almost out the door because he won't be intimate with her. It was quite shocking and strange to have this come up while I'm dealing with same issue. My wife pressed the issue because she was interested in why they were having problems and I told her exactly why. She got pretty nervous and clingy at the notion that someone would end a marriage over this. So we had sex of course as well. Between this and me telling her that I won't live like this forever she seems to be getting the picture. Also, my motivation to improve myself has something to do with it as well I suspect because she might take that as a sign that I'm planning for the future (not entirely true, but not entirely untrue either).