Why I StayI appreciate being able to come here and vent..and it is very frustrating to stay in a sexless marriage...but I wanted to also remind myself why I stay:
1. She has a brain injury which limits the "emotional" side. She lost all of her memory after a horrific accident and now operates from the logical side of her brain. I knew 16 years ago when I met her that she had limited emotional capacity and it has become more limited over time. If I had married someone with a physical handicap I would never leave.
2. She is smart. Probably the most intelligent person I have ever met, even smarter than my first husband who was president of the Mensa chapter.
3. She is hilarious. If Judge Judy had a twin it would her....that is her exact personality.
4. She is loyal.
5. She supports me. She eats "diet" food even though she has lost all of the weight she wanted because she supports me. She cooks the healthy dinners and cheers me on for each pound I struggle to lose.
6. She is a great business partner with a sharp business mind. Keeps the financial part of our business strong so I can focus on the creative side.
7. She does tell me she loves me in texts. And for what she is able to do she does. She just does not have the emotional capacity for affection.
8. She is a bad alligator. Her motto is don't f*** with the devil unless you want a pitchfork up your a**. No one messes with her she can out bad a** anyone and that is sometimes a really good thing. It is nice to feel safe and that someone will protect you no matter what if someone tried to harm you.
9. She brings balance to my life. I otherwise would be too emotional.
10. She is charismatic. Literally. If she turns on her charm she can win anyone over and is the life of the party and the focus of any situation if she chooses to. Since she has no emotional fears she is strong and funny and people love that.
And finally after 16 years there is history. There is something to be said about that.
So I do struggle with the lack of emotional and physical attention but wanted to remind myself there are two sides to each story and the reason why I have stayed.....