Struggling With FidelityMy partner has severe back pain and can barely stand to be hugged much less anything else. He gets depressed about it, and says that when he feels he has no quality of life left he plans to end his life. I do my best to keep him positive and hopeful, so having frank talks about our sex life is not something I would do. i would never leave the relationship because he truly is my soul mate.
I'm considerably younger and have quite a bit of libido left. I wish I could negotiate an open relationship, but it would devastate him which would devastate me. I fantasize about having an affair and try to rationalize it as a reasonable way to address my dilemma, trying to convince myself it wouldn't make me one of those selfish cheaters. Seeing all the sex on tv, in novels, in movies, makes me feel like I'm missing out on life. the frustration makes me cranky and irritable at times.
I have friends who say an affair wouldn't't be immoral under these circumstances. I might even give such advice if the shoe were on the other foot. But trust is so essential - how can violating it ever be okay?
I know others have been there. Nice to have you all to share this with.