Ahhh Excuses, What Fun To Share....

Because my sister and I are both in virtual sexless relationships it has become a favorite past time to share our stories...... especially the ones of all the lame excuses or actions our other half's have thrown out over the years. Just for some fun, would anyone like to share their partners actions or excuses to avoid sex.

Remember if you can't laugh about this you'll cry, and i'm sure most of us have done enough of that already......
alrightythen alrightythen
36-40, F
12 Responses Apr 27, 2012

One of my other favorites was, "you know I don't like to have sex on weeknights, I have to work tomorrow, can I get a rain check for fri/sat?" then fri or sat rolls around and I would get "oh, this week just killed me, I have no energy at all, and that wouldn't be fair to you". LOLOLOL

My H, in the beginning, would fall asleep watching t.v. at night. When I went in to wake him for bed (whether it was to go to sleep or otherwise), he'd say he was still watching t.v. I'd go to bed alone and he'd sleep on the couch until 3am.<br />
Now he will skip showers, not shave, and he has even learned that if he has an ailment (headache, backache, toothache, etc.), he can pretty much milk that all day. And DOES. Then he just goes to sleep before me and he's safe another night. <br />
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He told me once that all I had to do if I wanted to have sex was "ask him". I am not asking him for anything. Plus, I wouldn't want him to exert himself exercising a little hygiene. He's already in so much pain as it is.....

Right with you on the excuse always being medical. For the last 7 months it has been jock itch that refuses to respond to treatment, but before that it was kidney stones, carpal tunnel, fibromyalgia and a host of other.

Falling asleep during foreplay....yes, you've heard it here folks! I was so boring and undesirable that my man would rather be unconscious than be with me. I'm thinking of opening a business for treating insomniacs.....

Been there done that one! and I felt the exact same way, completely undesirable.

It's always some kind of physical ailment, neck, back, head, etc... occasionally I would get the new excuse ("Would" because I haven't tried in over a month, and don't plan to ever again). But if it's not physical, she always manages to pick a fight with me before bed, that's her excuse. Tormenting... ugh

Morning, now you ladies know, in your heart - he ain't doing you, he's doing some one else, m or f

Mine will conveniently not shower all weekend, he knows I'm not cool with that at all. By the time Sunday evening rolls around, he makes a half gimped effort to say crap like "oh I was just so busy and all I just didnt even realize it." Then the work week starts and he knows he's home free. Gross huh, well save it...I'm not begging anymore.

I heard'em all from my ex old man.

I would love an excuse, any excuse, I get two year old child whining......seriously whining......


My H excuse......."my balls hurt"<br />
His excuse for not snuggling close to me......he'll get to turned on and his balls hurt.<br />
His excuse for not kissing me.....he was waiting on his new front teeth. They were damaged in a car accident 25 yrs ago and then fixed but during a surgery in 2007 they were damaged again so he had to get new ones. I actually fell for that excuse at the time. I knew how embarrassed he was. Well he got his new teeth in 2008 and kissed me once (only after much teasing on my part). Now his excuse is.....he wont kiss me 'like that' anymore because....drum roll please.......he'll get turned on and his balls will hurt. Im thinking about cutting them off. That would eliminate his pain, right?

Lol..... "my balls hurt" Just need to empty them very regular or their product can poison the body and the brain! Scientifically proven fact!

Just freakin leave-go find urself a straight dude cuz this one you got is funny if ya get my drift.

I get your drift. Hes not funny. He just fell out of love and is full of excuses.

His balls will hurt because they are full of *****, the dumb ******.

omg, so crazy! I'm laughing so hard I snorted....bwa ha ha, cut 'em off, that'll solve his problem...ay yah!

2 More Responses

Then you could move on to YOUR excuses why you have stayed.<br />
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Tread your own path.

I've done this question before and it's always fun to hear everyone's stories, as well as to give us all an avenue to vent. My last favorite excuse my husband had (three years ago, the last time we had sex) was, ....... drum roll please. I have an upset stomach, and sex will shake my stomach. If you want to give me a BJ, I could probably do that :( ........ What a jerk.