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Chicken Or The Egg

sub·or·di·nate (s-bôrdn-t)
1. Belonging to a lower or inferior class or rank; secondary.
2. Subject to the authority or control of another
One that is subordinate.
tr.v. (s-bôrdn-t) sub·or·di·nat·ed, sub·or·di·nat·ing, sub·or·di·nates
1. To put in a lower or inferior rank or class.
2. To make subservient; subdue.

As I read the numerous stories on this board, I am struck by the number of posters who report of counselors suggesting that 'sex is a secondary issue' or should be 'backburnered' until other issues are addressed. Then I reflect on Maslow. If sex is a basic need, on the base of the hierarchy, then why are mental health professionals minimizing its primacy? Are they so invested in preserving a failing marriage that they too want to deny the importance of physical intimacy?

deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 2, 2012

Your Response


For your reading convenience I posted the article under WHY DO MARRIAGE THERAPISTS UNDERTREAT SEXUAL PROBLEMS? in a post.

Your post prompted me to dig back through my readings on Psychology Today and this was addressed by Dr. Susan Heitler, Ph D. on January 19, 2012 under her blog titled RESOLUTION, NOT CONFLICT. <br />
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The article is a bit lengthy, but I will provide the first three paragraphs here:<br />
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-----"A recent study asked marriage therapists how often they asked the couples with whom they worked about their sex lives, and how extensively they encouraged to couple to focus on sexual issues in their treatment sessions. <br />
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Surprisingly few therapists inquired in detail about the frequency and satisfaction levels of sexual intercourse, or focused routinely on sexual issues during treatment. That fact in itself is problematic, particularly given the results of the 2011 report from the National Marriage Project in which happily married couples ranked sex right up there with communication, commitment and generosity as top factors in their marital satisfaction.<br />
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Even more problematic was the revelation of gender differences among therapists. Male marriage counselors more often encouraged discussion of sexual issues. Women marriage counselors focused on sexual functioning significantly less. Since the majority of marriage therapists are women, that means that most couples' therapists do not sufficiently explore this essential aspect of marital functioning."<br />
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The remainder of the article can be found here:<br />
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You are welcome 23!