Up And Down, But Generally Up :-)

I just re-read my old piece of 2009, to check up on myself where I was at that time.
In retrospect, I think my despair and sadness was a lot worse than I let on in the write-up, it sure jogged my memory. 

Fast forward to today. As I almost always do, I cooked lunch for the old folks, did the meals on wheels thing, got home. She was not in the barn in her felting studio loft  and I was a little surprised to find her in the house, in the kitchen, eating the leftovers of the salad I made last night. I was kind of hot and bothered, my knee was suddenly giving me gyp and I said that I thought I'd leave the dishes for a bit until I felt a bit cooler and less in pain. She said she'd do the dishes. A little unusual that. If I cook the lunch, the dishes are 'my job'. I said that that was very kind of her (and I damn well meant it) so she flippantly said "I am kind".  I said "I know that", added that I'd go lie down and stretch that knee out for a few minutes and as I was walking out of the kitchen I added: "and I also think that you are wonderful, smart, generous and wise". She sat there on the couch with her bowl of salad, looking like a stunned mullet and somewhat bemused {grins}. 
5 minutes later I walked back in, less pain, less hot, she was at the sink doing 'my' dishes for me. I went up to her from behind, held her close to me and said "and the most wonderful of all is: you are loving and affectionate" She kind of stiffened, half turned and said: "what are you leading up to?" "Just being affectionate and loving" I said. 

Wait for it. 

It took a second or two, and she relaxed and let her body fall back into me, and got a big smile on her face. You have no idea what a revolutionary change that is .... she could accept it. She actually let her defenses down that much. I am still smiling when I think about it. 

Gods, this is so wonderful. 
deleted deleted
26-30
6 Responses May 4, 2012

Pertushka,
Relationships are fragile. In your case, P, possibly more so than most. Your wife is indeed all of those descriptions and more. Sometimes,we need to look deeper into ourselves to know someone special is there for a reason. You do not sound heartbroken,sad or lonely. You sound content yet hopeful. You know that true happiness comes from within oneself. She can only give you what she is able to give. Life has so many layers, doesn't it?

It seems so simple doesn't it? You love her and want to touch her, and she withdraws and stiffens up. It's not your problem - but it's your pain. I hope she is able to find a way to you. You've waited a long time and given more than many would.

Always great to read of success in these difficult relationships of our's. I truly hope this is a new beginning for her . . . that would be wonderful for you both.

Cool news, I could take lessons from you, dude. Needed some insight and got what I was looking for.

Look at you, such a smooth sweet talker and what a seducer, put the moves on her she never saw it comin'.<br />
How ever you had "me" at dishes!<br />
Good luck

I hope this is a harbinger of better things to come for you P.<br />
<br />
Forgive me, but what leapt out at me is the fact that generally, in ILIASM stories, a returned effort at intimate behaviour takes on disproportionate significance, for an event that in a functional relationship is completely normal and unremarkable.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.