None For 4 Weeks!

I am 26 years old and my husband is 46... i know the age gap has alot to do with it, but I know my husband can do better! His solution is to offer someone else to have sex with... but he is my husband and I only want him. What can I do... is he not attracted to me anymore? riffith
kggriffith2104 kggriffith2104
26-30
10 Responses May 7, 2012

Your story is similar to my own with the roles reversed. My wife has said that I am a good man and I deserve someone who will love me sexually. She says she loves me, but not in that way anymore. I'm eight years her senior, we've been married 28 years, and now she's tired of marriage and motherhood. She feels that life has passed her by. I understand how she feels, but I still love her. <br />
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In the meantime, she has had affairs and does as she pleases. I am a good lover and love sex often. But once you try others as she has, enjoying variety and sexual freedom, it's hard to go back to what you found boring. Like you, I have wanted to stay together, especially for our kids. Although they are grown now, our youngest is 19, I still think they deserve to have married parents (I know I'm naive). We live together, but it's much more a logistics and financial accomodation then a marriage. <br />
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She wants a divorce and it will happen. I'm trying to get used to that inevitability. It's foolish of me to ever expect that she could be trusted again, if she were to change. In the meantime, I have not had sex with her, nor anyone else, for the past three years. Given our age difference, I'm getting older faster than she is. So, don't be stupid like me, hoping against hope, enduring insult, and so badly missing that experience which makes life wonderful, true love. You are young and deserve a fulfilling life. There are lots of good men out there. Take his advice, cut your losses before you get any older and go find new love. Remember that we humans are resilient. No matter how tough you may think this decision is, you will survive and ultimately have a much better life. You have to believe that. God bless you!

Your story is similar to my own with the roles reversed. My wife has said that I am a good man and I deserve someone who will love me sexually. She says she loves me, but not in that way anymore. I'm eight years her senior, we've been married 28 years, and now she's tired of marriage and motherhood. She feels that life has passed her by. I understand how she feels, but I still love her. <br />
<br />
In the meantime, she has had affairs and does as she pleases. I am a good lover and love sex often. But once you try others as she has, enjoying variety and sexual freedom, it's hard to go back to what you found boring. Like you, I have wanted to stay together, especially for our kids. Although they are grown now, our youngest is 19, I still think they deserve to have married parents (I know I'm naive). We live together, but it's much more a logistics and financial accomodation then a marriage. <br />
<br />
She wants a divorce and it will happen. I'm trying to get used to that inevitability. It's foolish of me to ever expect that she could be trusted again, if she were to change. In the meantime, I have not had sex with her, nor anyone else, for the past three years. Given our age difference, I'm getting older faster than she is. So, don't be stupid like me, hoping against hope, enduring insult, and so badly missing that experience which makes life wonderful, true love. You are young and deserve a fulfilling life. There are lots of good men out there. Take his advice, cut your losses before you get any older and go find new love. Remember that we humans are resilient. No matter how tough you may think this decision is, you will survive and ultimately have a much better life. You have to believe that. God bless you!

"His solution is to offer someone else to have sex with"<br />
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How extraordinarily disrespectful and insulting !!!!<br />
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For a lot of people this would be the dagger through the heart of the marriage.<br />
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You ??<br />
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Tread your own path.

Get a divorce. <br />
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NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO DOES NOT SLEEP WITH HIS WIFE!!!!

Call his bluff. Tell him that you have slept with someone. (Even if you haven't) This kind of response from him is completely idiotic, and poorly thought out. <br />
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He either doesn't care or just talking shi...t. My wife pulled the same stunt. So when i did sleep with someone else i was the worlds biggest asshol..e.<br />
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Seek legal advice and find out your rights. If he is telling you to go elsewhere you have real problems.<br />
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Also i agree with Mvcmvc he might be doing someone else. Either way at 26 you are way too young to go 4 weeks without. Potentially given your young age you could have another 30 - 40 years of this. It is practically a sin. It will only get worse from here unless you do something about it. <br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

I would love for my husband say that to me. After all, I've been waiting around for years. I've even suggested an open marriage but he didn't go for that.

yes i agree tell him ur changing the rules ..why not.... he changed the rules to suit him...... why not take back ur own rules... make it work for u !

Ahem folks! Let's not get carried away! We are talking about 4 weeks! Not 4 months or 4 years. I know that they say you should nip a problem in the bud, strike while the iron is hot, and all that palaver, but still.<br />
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If I am forced to hazard a completely unfounded guess I would suggest that the man is just bored and has switched off sex with you and now has taken the opportunity to suggest to you something that is out of your comfort zone on the pretext that he is having trouble. What was the context leading up to these 4 weeks? Were there problems already? It just seems rather odd that after a period of abstinence of only 4 weeks his first response is, "Why don't you shag someone else"? Call me a cynic if you like but it does sound a bit odd to me.

Your husband probably likes having a much younger wife to convince others AND himself that he is a true stud! Sadly, you know this for the lie it is.<br />
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If you stay with him, you will be a glorified housekeeper for the rest of your life. You probably have sixty plus years of living ahead of you - don't live a "half life" for these many years ahead.<br />
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BTW, my partner is sixty and is a virile and keen lover. Forty six is not by any means "old" - so his age would probably have nothing to do with it.

It's hard to suggest much here as there aren't details. And much as I wish my refuser w would offer me someone else to have sex with, that your h has already done that, have to go with GibbySan.<br />
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At least you know this at 26! I wish I knew what you know, when I was your age.<br />
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If you don't have children involved, there's just no reason to stay. Don't say he never warned you!!

Who knows? I met men in their 60s who were real studs and men in their 30s who had problems with erection... 46y.o. man with a young wife should be exploding with desire.... If not it is a lot of trouble waiting to happen very soon.... You need serious thinking about the future together... IMHO age gap more than 7 years can be a real source of problems...

Ditto on the 7 year age gap.

there is age gap of 8 years with my spouse... he is 63 and he acts like and even calls him self an old gezzer.......next time around i hope to explore with some one, my age or a bit younger .....not into gezzer life style

Mine is 13 years older... At first I only saw pluses... Now I see that it is almost a generation gap... too... too much...